Choosing the funniest scenes and lines on “Desperate Housewives” is not an easy task if you watch the show. The writers of “Desperate Housewives” are just as good as the incredible actors of the show in creating a hilarious scene. Season 2-6 were particularly good. You wonder each time one of the scenes play out, how did they think of those lines? I wish I’d thought of that first!
Here are five funny scenes from “Desperate Housewives” that will make you crack up.
When Gaby took care of her pregnant Chinese housekeeper, Xiao-Mei, the two didn’t get along at all. A particular scene when the housekeeper was bed-ridden bossing Gaby around was genius with only three lines.
Xiao-Mei: You are meanest person I know.
Gaby: I AM the meanest person. You’ve been in this country a year. Modify your nouns, damnit!
Xiao-Mei: What a bitch.
In season 5 of “Desperate Housewives,” Bree had a dream when she wonders if Karl would cheat on her. In her dream, she walked in on him sleeping with her yoga instructor, Courteney in their own bed. The funniest lines of the scene came out as Karl and Courteney got dressed and left the bedroom. As Bree’s yoga instructor exited the door, the lines took off.
Bree: How could you, Karl? In our own bed!
Karl: Yeah, you’re right…that was tacky.
Courteney: I’m so sorry. (on her way out the door)
Karl to Courteney: I’ll call you.
Karl: Sorry. Force of habit.
Before Bree let herself believe she had feelings for Karl, he brought a date named Candice with him to an evening outing. They bumped into Bree and Orson and sat with them. Bree was clearly jealous once they joined them at their table.
Bree: So, Candice..what do you do for a living?
Candice: I’m a dancer.
Bree: Really. What kind? Jazz, ballet… lap?
Karl: Actually Candice was a Rockette.
Bree: Oh…ahhh..it must have been exhausting spending so much time with your legs in the air.
When the oldest member of Wisteria Lane’s neighborhood was having sex problems with her boyfriend, Roy, she opened up to Lynette. The lines are worthy being one of the funniest scenes in “Desperate Housewives.”
Mrs. McCluskey: When Roy’s spirits are drooping, the problem is global. Get the picture?
Lynette: Getting the picture isn’t the problem. It’s getting rid of it.
In season 2, Bree and her first husband, Rex, had the neighborhood over for dinner. Gaby is always the outspoken one on “Desperate Housewives” and her scenes usually involve some of the show’s funniest lines. She was joined by husband, Carlos in this scene at the dinner table.
Gaby: Carlos and I once broke a water bed in Cancun.
Mike: How did you manage that?
Gaby: Carlos used to have a thing for high heels.
Carlos: I’d just like to make it clear she wearing them!