Just recently I was diagnosed as being bi-polar. While this didn’t come as a shock to me, I realize now that I can no longer manage the symptoms on my own anymore. I take Haldol, which helps me manage my sleeping schedule, and anti-anxiety medications as well.
I don’t like it, but it keeps me going. I feel like a zombie half the day, and my wrists and ankles feel like they have restless leg syndrome half the time. But the side effects of the medication are less horrible than the disease itself, which can keep me up for three days in a row, without eating or taking care of myself because my mind won’t stop.
It took two nights of emergency room visits with uncontrollable anxiety attacks to make me see the error of trying to combat this illness on my own.
Now I have to keep a notebook near me at all times, to take notes throughout the day, because my mind likes to drift on the Haldol. But it’s manageable, I get things done. I eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I go to sleep at 11 and get up at 7 almost every day.
The zombie effect doesn’t last all day, or I don’t know how I could do it. I have a few hours when the meds wear off between doses, so I can schedule my more critical work, like writing and taking care of the finances, during these times. Then I make sure I do things that don’t take much brain power, such as cleaning or taking a shower during my off times.
If you think you might be bi-polar, please get help. Don’t wait for it to become a crisis to take action and get the help you might really need.