To all you people out driving around with no where to go and oblivious to the fact that there is actually a speed limit and MINIMUM speed get out of my way! If you have ever been stuck behind someone like this you understand where I am going with this. There are many different ways to describe these individuals and I would like to use some expletives and color language I will refrain. Here are a couple of examples of the IOWA – idiots out wandering around.
My most annoying slow driver is the individual the older couple out tool’n around in their 1972 caddy or whatever it might be. No matter how big of a hurry you are in you will always find one on the road right in-front of you going at least ten miles per hour slower than the speed limit. You guessed it, they look in the rear-view mirror and look right into your eyes and continue to putts along. This is enough for you to bang on the horn shake your fist out the window and use some of those four letter words that are more than appropriate in that situation, but not here. Deep breath, ok you know what I am talking about here. With the last of the baby-boomers reaching that retirement age it means more of the menaces on the road and more often.
If you have driven in the rural Midwest you have seen the corn fields, pigs farms, dairy farms. You also understand that if you get behind a tractor or a combine you are stuck there until they get to the next back-forty that needs work. Most of these roads are very narrow and if you are not familiar with them passing is not an option. It is irritating and you would like to hang your head out the window and holler at them, but you get a cow patty in the face. Keep in mind that this is where most of your food comes from and without this pokey farmer you wouldn’t be able to enjoy that ear of corn, T-bone steak, or even your morning oat meal. Then when you followed them for the three minutes you think you would rather eat gravel then follow this pain the sow rear-end any longer, then they finally turn off the road.
You know I could go on and on with the different people and situations that irritate you when they are driving slow, but can’t. The next time you are stuck behind that pokey old couple, old beater with one-gear, mob-head rider, remember you are a better person because you refrained from screaming at them out the window, shaking your fist at them, or riding so close you are in their trunk. The eternity will end soon, usually a couple of minutes. Who am I kidding, go ahead and honk your horn, that is why they put it on cars, why else? Just don’t cause any accidents and be careful out there, it’s a crazy world we live in and there are clubs of people that are out there just trying to irritate us impatient safe drivers.