For every child, there is a mother and a father. The father doesn’t go through the physical pregnancy but he’s still the father of an aborted child. There’s a lot of resources and help for the mother, however, the father is often over looked or out of the picture. The aborted child is a part of the father’s life, as well as the mother’s. Like with mother’s, a father’s grief or impact isn’t always immediate, sometimes years after the abortion.
There are approximately 42 millionabortions per year, in the world. There are approximately 3,700 abortions per day within the United States. 52% of those abortions are for women younger then 25 years old. For each of those abortions, there is a father. A man left to deal with the abortion and that’s not easy.
Abortion can leave a man angry, frustrated and helpless, among other things. Some men act out in more anger toward the woman or someone else he felt was in control or is to blame, some men become harmful to themselves.
After an abortion, more often then not a relationship fails or ends in divorce. Relationships with women after an abortion and break up become impossible or difficult to maintain. Men who didn’t know the abortion was going to happen, usually have trust issues or become obsessive with any future pregnancy they produce. Men who knew the abortion was going to happen, usually feel weak as a man, unable to protect the child and even have a “less then” feeling about being a man.
Men struggling with an abortion might have panic attracts, sleeplessness, flashbacks or isolate themselves from others. Some men will become risk takers within their jobs and lives, setting themselves up to fail. This happens in some men who feel they are a looser and a failure as a result of the abortion. The failure and looser feeling becomes their normal and they find ways to keep that feeling going.
Some men will have forms of sexual dysfunction after an abortion. Some men don’t want to be put in the same situation again, so they avoid sexual relationships. Some will turn to masturbation and pornography to avoid sexual relationships. Some men will be devastated to the point of erectile problems or the inability to perform sexually within a relationship.
Men often find an abortion hard to talk about with family and friends. When talking is not an option they feel safe with, some will turn to alcohol, drugs or become workaholics to avoid talking about the abortion, entering future relationships or moving on with their lives.
Healing for men is often a slower process. They are grieving the loss of a child and their feelings about being a man. Everyone heals at a different pace, there’s healthy ways to heal from abortion and all the devastating effects of abortion. Counseling is one positive way to begin to grieve and deal with an abortion. A pastor or other clergy are good people to talk to and deal with things. The safety and security of a good friendship might be comforting. Men need a place to open up and let emotions flow, that’s part of healing.
Abortion takes a baby’s life. Abortion leaves a man having to deal with a situation that isn’t his choice. Abortion affects more then the mother. There’s alternatives to abortion that everyone can happily live with.