Title: Everything has it’s Time (6/8)
Spoilers: Set after ‘Age of Steel’
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery
Rating: Teen for mature writing style
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and make no financial profit from this writing, just other kinds of profit!
Summary: Rose realises that it isn’t the loss of Mickey that’s hurting her but the feeling that she’s lost the Doctor. One random morning on board the good ship T.A.R.D.I.S., Rose says the one thing she never thought she would ever say.
So SORRY I haven’t posted in a while I’ve been on my hols – camping in England!!! Ek! Well after wind tunnel and rain and deflatting air matresses and hard ground I still had a blast but had no internet so I’m sorry about the wait but will hopefully get the next chapter up soon as compensation and as long as I can find my last chapter – how do you lose a chapter? I’ll keep up the posting! Thanks so much to everyone who has R&Red – means so much as i haven’t really shared much of what I’ve written before – anyway on to Chapter 5…enjoy!
Dawn spilt a Chantilly lace pattern over the beige walls and Rose stirred pulling the heavy blankets further under her chin. Her brain tried to process why she was cold and shivering and she realised she was alone.
She sat bolt upright, a cautioning throb in her head advising slow motion. The Doctor was sitting by the window looking out over the square. She knew where.
“I can’t hear her anymore.” He spoke almost fondly as if in reminiscence.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“I stayed awake monitoring you, there was no danger, the effects of the concussion are minimal now.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Rose felt it wasn’t. “What does that mean?”
“You were injured, probably lucky, but still injured and you needed to rest.”
The early morning sun made his complexion almost ghostly and still.
“No, that you can’t hear her?”
She watched little dust particles dance and swim in the diffused light until they settled in their new home.
“It’s not a good sign.”
He looked so maudlin, subdued and quiet, like a man out of Time, suspended in some moment in his own mind or like Narcissus studying his own reflection until he wizened, though not out of vanity, perhaps out of shame. Years seemed to pass him by until he died with still no further illumination.
It was disconcerting to see the Doctor like this and yet Rose seemed stagnated herself by the mood, moving heavily, slowly to sit by his feet and speaking in hushed prolonged tones like they were under water and slowly drowning though not seeming to notice.
There was a prolonged pause.
“She just stopped; literally fell out of the vortex like there was a sudden EMP. Sorry, electromagnetic pulse.”
“I know. I watch Jack Bauer.” Awkward humour didn’t work.
“Something just cut all her systems. Luckily we were already on a trajectory to a humanoid planet.”
“Was there what?”
“An electromagnetic pulse?”
“No something so primitive wouldn’t affect her anyway.”
“But something did, yeah?”
“But that’s good. We just have to find out what it was and fix it, yeah?”
He didn’t seem enthused.
“No I mean yes, yes of course!”
If this exchange had been in slow motion it had now escalated to double time as the Doctor jumped up and pulled on his coat in one motion and with one intent – the door. He took a last look out the window and Rose briefly thought he might actually try to jump through it as the quickest possible route to his destination but then he was gone.
After grabbing her jacket and a quick search for her keys, as always adding a little more practically and forethought to his whirling dervish and she was after him; running down the wooden stairs and through the now eerily vacant bar, stools stacked on tables like toy soldiers awaiting battle.
She raced across the square to that wonderful blue box pulling her key from around her neck. The doors were closed but that was to be expected. She fitted her trusty yale in the lock but it wouldn’t budge. She gave it a bit more elbow grease and tried rattling it but nothing happened. Bemused she took a step back as if sizing up the problem. It was then that she noticed it, her ruck-sack was propped casually against the blue peeling door.
Her heart sank, she felt winded like she’d received a physical blow to the stomach.
So this is it? My Aberdeen. His too? She thought.
She’d asked to leave; she’d packed and now he’d literally locked her out of her beautiful time and space hopping home. No goodbyes; he was that sort of man.
She felt guilty, of course he didn’t trust her in his ship again, didn’t trust her full stop, she’d given up on him, on them.
Absently she swung her pack onto her shoulder and something clattered, span and ran along between the cobbles – money.
Suddenly all Rose could think of was sitting with Shareen, a petulant, protesting, Mickey and a crate of beer, watching a pirated copy of ‘Moulin Rouge’.
“I have paid my whore.”
Anger bubbled through her. She felt so used, cast aside and worthless. A worthless London shop girl. A dime a dozen. Someone the mighty Time Lord could impress; some silly human who’d be awe struck, eager to please and stroke his ego, even fall madly in love. She did her job and now she’s be replaced.
Tears burnt in her eyes. She knew she wasn’t being fair. He didn’t understand how weak, emotional and attached these simple humans could become. He just wanted some company and in return he gave her the stars, a business relationship, a temporary post that she’d grown out of or become bored with. He never promised her forever and couldn’t be expected to.
She had tired to prevent this pain but found that it still came as a shock, standing on the outside looking in like she had done her entire life. He’d never mention her; he’d forget her and oh he’d travel again, he was a genius after all, he would find a way but it wouldn’t be with her.
How could you miss someone so much who was right in front of you?
Oh she was stupid, a stupid ape, a stupid foolish girl. Did she really think it could hurt any more than this right now? Did she think that a few more years would have made a difference to the pain? Didn’t she know that it was already too late for her to walk away and survive unscathed? What really did leaving prevent except a few more years to readjust to live as an ordinary human girl? Was not one minute with him, his smile, just for her, worth all her years?
She could have put up with not being special nor unique. She could have understood that sophisticated, intelligent courtesans would always fascinate and turn his eye. He needed that kind of stimulus, challenge and equality, after all that’s why he travelled. He was worth the monsters even the internal monsters that lure and snarl and claw at your very skin and being.
It would have broken her heart but at least but at least it would have been gradual, planned as she matured and not sudden, not wrenching like this and she could have made a difference, shown that lonely angel a little love and seen things beyond mankind’s limited imagination.
She’d left because she thought she had lost him but the reality was much more cruel for now he’d literally gone and she…? Rose couldn’t breathe, couldn’t hink, somewhere she was aware of her heart shattering and that she was hyperventilating, dizzy and then she was unconscious.
From across the street the barman saw the strange yellow girl just stop and drop and he hoped that the young man had given her one last amazing night.