Love, the “L” word; it is what we are all searching for and yearning for. Somehow we think that if we could only be “truly” loved by someone else, that will caulk up all the empty holes we have and answer the myriad questions that occupy our hearts and minds. I think not.
I believe we have it quite backwards; and maybe even upside down and inside out. We must first apply the “L” word to ourselves and then it blossoms into something quite remarkable and supremely enriching. To truly love ourselves seems to be a very difficult thing to do in our modern, always-comparing, always-wanting-more culture. We keep getting the outside confused with the inside. We feel somehow that the “I” part of us is incomplete. That I am not enough without someone or something else to fill me up.
Gee, what happens when we sit down and take stock? What happens when the “me” shows up in my life and I discover that the “me” is pretty damn wonderful? And, (surprise!) it is okay to like and love me; to celebrate and delight in myself; to realize that I am truly quite something of and for myself. Well then, I am whole and can reach out to another with no “needy” gaps that need filling, that demand attention and pretzel-twisting from that other soul. They get to just be themselves; as do I. Oh, the ease and simple joy of this!
Then you have two hearts and souls meeting each other on even ground. There is no “I need what you have to be complete.” The real joining of two creates another entity that is totally separate and complete; the “us.” We are whole and complete alone and together. This juncture of two hearts becomes a celebration of the “each” of us and a delight in the distinctions, talents and deliberate “who” of the separate “two.”
I don’t want to be the “reason for your life.” Please don’t tell me that “I complete you.” I don’t want that responsibility or burden. Come to me whole and in love with yourself; happy in the person you are. I will greet you half way and play with you in the field of our coming together; that arena where we delight in one another’s gifts and abilities.
My life will be richer for having you there. The sharing of thoughts and feelings; the comfort of being able to bare my soul; the knowing that you will care for it well; this is falling in love. And, I will not “die if you leave me.” Without you, my life shall be less, but I will still have a life that is mine to cherish and create as before. The journey of me celebrating myself and growing will continue; as will yours.
This is falling in love.