Forgiveness is a gift that you give to yourself. You acknowledge the feelings of hurt, anger, broken trust and even resentment. Sometimes the anger you feel can burn inside you until it takes over your whole life. The person who hurt you often is not suffering the way you are which only fuels your pain.
It would be easy to slip into a self-destructive mode and further allow the situation to control your life. The problem with doing this is that the person who caused you the pain wins. That is never a good thing. Allowing someone else to have that kind of power over you makes your feelings vulnerable. It also leaves you open to being hurt again.
Trust is something that should never be given freely. We want to believe that most people are good but that is not always the truth. If someone breaks your trust or does something to make you feel as if your relationship with them was a lie, living with the pain of betrayal can cause you to become frozen in time.
You cannot move forward and often you are afraid to. You start to feel less of yourself and maybe even place blame on your own actions. Maybe you have some underlying self-esteem issues or were just foolish enough to jump into a serious relationship without learning more about someone. There are always lessons to be learned from life. If you cannot forgive, you fail to grow as a person.
Holding onto anger can turn you into a bitter and even hateful person. In choosing not to forgive you cannot heal from the pain that you are feeling. Do you really want to live your life holding onto this pain? Forgiveness can release you from it.
You do not even always need to tell the person that you forgive them. Sometimes it is not possible to face them. Writing them a letter that they will never see is one way to go through the process of forgiveness. Once you have let go and forgiven, promise yourself that you will move on from this point in time. What you choose to do after forgiving someone is another part of forgiveness but the most important act right now is being good to yourself.
You felt the pain. You suffered all the emotions. You were the victim. You have the power to let it go and move on with your life the way you choose to. Forgiving others is a big step in healing yourself and it will feel good to do.