Whether we like it or not, it is inevitable, state-by-state, America will change laws allowing same gender marriages to be legal, in this the 21st century. Nevertheless, changing laws to allow gays to participate in a tradition, already tarnished by divorce will not make for a gay new tradition.
The gay marriage debate has on the one side, the religious right leading the call to protect “Traditional marriage” consisting of one man and one woman. On the other side, there are same gender couples fed up, not able to express their love in the ultimate commitment ceremony. Both, currently locked into battle, like two rams on the program “National Geographic” are creating a Supreme Court headache, better known in the State of California as the initiative “Prop. 8.” Passed by voters in California in 2008, this law defines marriage, between one man and one woman and is now before the Supreme Court to decide if constitutional.
The choice is clear, use a well-known component of a long lasting marriage, compromise. On the other hand, if cooler heads do not prevail, we risk a rare situation where both of these rams collide and fall to defeat.
In 1980, I was in love with a friend; if possible, I would have married him. We had so much fun together despite the fact we could not have been two men that were more different. A 19-year-old white heterosexual and a 23-year-old black homosexual, honestly this was as close as we were to having something in common. We became best friends and even thirty years later living in separate states he, has traveled to visit me with his girlfriend, and I never forget to call him on his birthday.
Today, I enjoy my single life; it works for me. However, I greatly admire the commitment of two individuals who have assembled their family and friends together to celebrate their commitment to one another in a wedding ceremony. Changing marriage is as wrong as changing the name of the Golden Gate bridge. However, if changing even the Golden Gate Bridge, to make it stronger, I am all for that.
It is ironic that at the same time gay marriage will become law, a mostly Christian America is still living in the time of Moses, sexually speaking. Moses enacted many customs that we do not follow today. If you read the Old Testament, not only will you find where Moses said “Thou shall not lie with man…” instructions, he also instructed that rebellious children shall be “Stoned to death.” Moses at this same time gave permission for soldiers to kidnap women as a means of getting a wife as a way of appeasing his men.
Many of the opposite sex have a view that individuals of the same sex in love are in their view, “disgusting.” It reminds me of the time I was channel surfing and saw some very happy Cambodians, ready to eat fried tarantula spiders they just cooked. My reaction to this sight was, how disgusting!
At the time, I thought there was a better chance that I could have talked these hungry happy Cambodians into homosexuality, than they could have talked me into eating a big fried spider and I could imagine vice verse. However, come to think of it, I know someone who is so beautiful inside and out, that I would compromise and eat a big fried spider with them.
As a former Bible study teacher I can say with confidence, I know what is in this great book. Moses invented divorce, not God (Matthew 19: 3-9). Moreover, if God did not change the purpose of marriage, he certainly did not give Moses or anyone today, permission to change it by adding the loophole better known as divorce. With that
understanding, how would a “Hell no” to gay marriage attitude of Moses today, be made acceptable in the 21st century, answer; Moses knew the only solution to handle the inevitable or risk of an epidemic of murdered spouses was to invent a compromise.
The solution to having gay equality in the area of marriage is to first, honor the institution of marriage. Have congress create a marriage law as a onetime event. In honor of two individuals (whether man and woman, man and man or woman and woman) who have committed to one mate (with the exception of natural death of a spouse) their entire marriage, we place a seal of respect for this institution where the promise “Until death…” is an unbreakable promise. Then protect marriage for the sake of children, mostly negatively affected by divorce by new laws with some tax break incentives based on the longer a couple stays together while raising children through college completion.
By creating reduced legal benefits to all subsequent committed unions, those who chose divorce, shall be stripped of the current license to devalue something that always was and still is, intended to be special.
Living in the 21st century demands that we create new customs that reflect changing times. More importantly, to encourage marriage, discourage divorce and uphold equality, we will be creating a match made in heaven.