I’m going to go on record and say that I don’t get all the fuss about this George Clooney is the sexiest man alive stuff. Yeah, I know. I’m probably the only female over the age of, um, two, on the planet, who does not swoon over the aging, heart throb. I mean, he’s cute, I grant you that. But, sexiest man alive? I don’t think so.
Look, it’s like this: If you saw George Clooney let’s say, behind the concession counter of a movie theater for example, wearing one of those funny little paper hats, jerking a soda, scooping popcorn or handing you one very over-priced box of Junior Mints (to die for), or you walked past him in the computer department of Best Buy, chances are you might think he was “cute” or maybe even “handsome”. But, I doubt very seriously you would think, “Whoa! There goes the sexiest man alive!”
Just an Ordinary Joe George
I mean, seriously, have you looked at him closely? The guy has no lips. None, whatsoever. He’s got one bad case of bags under his very squinty eyes, (which you can hardly see anyway because of his heavy, bushy eyebrows that hang over them) and when he smiles he looks just this side of goofy.
I can also attest to the fact that though he may be clever and funny in interviews, the guy is not an intellectual heavyweight. (The word “dim” comes to mind.) At best, he’s average in intelligence, okay? So, given all of these most ordinary attributes, what exactly is it then that elevates George Clooney to the “sexiest man alive” status? I’ll tell you what it is. It’s a movie screen. Hear me out.
A Fool on a Hill
If you take something ordinary and elevate it some way, where people have to look up to see it, you’ve just created what I like to call the “pagan gods on a hill” syndrome. That’s where something – or in this case, someone – if observed in an ordinary environment under ordinary conditions wouldn’t seem so extraordinary or impressive. But, if you place them, say, on a stage or plaster their face across a billboard or project it onto a movie screen, just the largeness of it sends a subliminal message of superiority.
Think about it. Would the Greek gods Zeus or Ares’ have been as intimidating if the Greeks didn’t believe that they lived atop Mount Olympus and could at any time, just by virtue of their higher position, lob a few lightning bolts their way or wage some kind of holy war against them? Probably not.
Perception is Reality
And so it is with drop-dead gorgeous George Clooney and this sexiest man alive stuff. George Clooney is really just an ordinary guy from Kentucky who just happens to have the type of job that makes him seem sexy. Really. That’s it. He’s no more handsome or charismatic than the hot guy next door mowing the lawn.
So, when you see George Clooney walking the red carpet on television, he only appears to be suave and debonair in his tux with his piercing, bedroom brown eyes, framed by distinguished, silver, Carey Grant hair.
And when you see photos of him shirtless and tanned with ripped abs and biceps skipping across Lake Como in his speed boat with that Italian dog, Elisabetta Canalis? (Oh, puleeze. Where did he find her anyway?) It’s all just an illusion, people.
It’s nothing but just a bunch of trumped up, Hollywood hype and movie magic, trying to sell tickets. I mean, seriously. What do they take us for, fools?
George. Call me. You don’t have to pretend for me, honey. I’ll take you just the way you are.