My amazement grows.
Shortly after I published a piece defending Giada De Laurentiis against detractors who actively dislike her for the most inane reasons, she had the misfortune to make headlines twice within a few days. (If you have not read the article, it can be found here: www.associatedcontent.com/article/5898524/giada_de_laurentiis_dont_hate_her_because.html.)
The first instance was a crumb in one of the scandal rags and the second was in connection with the sad passing of her legendary grandfather. Either way, her name was in the news and so her crackpot critics came out in force.
I’m fond of an old saying: “Ignorance is curable; stupidity is forever.” I received a comment on my article from a poster child for the latter condition. I’m going to call her “Jane.”
“Jane” began with, “Dude, you need to get a clue.” That approach always gets my attention. She then continued her moronic rant by spouting all the usual blah-blah-blah….”the only reason Food Network hired her is because of her name and influence in Hollywood”….”she’s not that good of a cook”…”her head is too big for her body”…”why does she have to show off her boobs”…”she should have some class”…”her phony smile”…”her fake Italian accent”….”nobody I know likes her”…etc, etc.
My head was spinning. Recalling my favorite saying, the only way somebody could read what I wrote and then respond by writing a comment that glaringly showcased and obviously epitomized exactly what I was writing about would be if they were not merely blissfully ignorant, but, indeed, terminally stupid.
I debated the option of editing the original article to include the idiotic comment, but ultimately decided that a whole new rant was in order.
“Jane,” for your edification (go look it up, honey), and for the benefit of similarly intelligence impaired individuals, here we go again.
Giada’s supposed clout in Hollywood had nothing to do with her employment at Food Network. She was featured in a 2002 styling piece in “Food and Wine” magazine. Food Network’s execs contacted her as a result of that article, not because of her “influence in Holloywood.”
Obviously, “Jane,” you’re right about Giada’s cooking ability. Wolfgang Puck should have asked you for your opinion before he hired her at “Spago.” And what do viewers of multiple Food Network programs know? Or readers of five bestselling cookbooks? Or instructors at Le Cordon Bleu? Or clients of GDL Foods? You’re right, “Jane.” She’s such a talentless hack.
Now, “Janie,” dear, Giada is a very small person. She’s just shy of 5′ 2″. She doesn’t have a “big head,” you dolt, she has a small body. Geez, what a reason to dislike somebody! Can you say “shallow?”
As to her bustline, I can only point out that Nigella Lawson, Claire Robinson, and some other female food celebs have worn some pretty “boob-ilicious” outfits on TV and I’ve never heard the sows squeal the way they do over Giada. Her husband’s a clothing designer. He designs a lot of her outfits and they don’t bother him, so why should they bother you? As for Giada needing class, “Jane,” three words: pot, kettle, black.
So you think she has a “phony” smile, do you? Yes, pleasant, smiling, happy people can be a real pain in the butt, can’t they? Better they should be scowling and serious on national TV. That’s what people like to see in “Jane’s” world. At least she has all her teeth, sweetie. How ’bout you?
My absolute favorite idiocy is the one about Giada’s “fake” Italian accent. How in the ever-lovin’ hell can a woman born in Rome to Italian parents have a “fake” Italian accent? I’m sorry, you uneducated cretin, but Americans have a tendency to absolutely massacre foreign languages, so let’s have a little lesson. The “o” sound in Italian is always pronounced the way the “o” is sounded in words like “doe” or “slow.” And the “e” is always pronounced like an English long “a”, as in “day” or “play.” You, “Jane,” the epitome of liguistic sophistication, might say “mahtz-uh-rella,” but the correct pronunciation is “mohts-ah-ray-la.” Giada’s not being fake, you simpleton, she’s being correct! Ever hear Mario Batali pronounce the same words? And he was born in Washington, for cryin’ out loud! Why not crucify Mario for having a “fake” accent? But then, that would mean letting facts interfere with a good irrational hatred of somebody.
“Nobody I know likes her.” Well, if everybody you know is as unenlightened as you are, I shouldn’t wonder. But the people who give out Emmy awards like her just fine. And so do all the people I know. So there! (I just love arguing like an adult!)
You know what, “Jane,” darling? Next time you post a comment, how about posting a picture of yourself with it? I’d love to see how you measure up next to Giada.
I often joke about everybody having the right to my opinion. But, damn, woman! Can’t you at least develop an educated opinion before you blather it all over the Net?
And you say I need to get a clue!