Will is over his Monkey Flu and ready to go. Meanwhile the Glee Club is busy helping Kurt prepare for a wedding and dealing with bullies. So here we go…
Carol and Burt drag Kurt into the hallway to tell Finn they are getting married! New Directions is going to sing for their wedding. Finn’s shocked. Kurt’s elated.
Sue’s sending out wedding invites. Flashback to her TV segment and Rod (her ex-crush) announcing he’s engaged his co-anchor, Andrea. Sue’s humiliated and pissed. She goes on internet to find her perfect match. Turns out the perfect match for Sue is Sue.
Sam tells Finn he is concerned about his popularity. He wants to be quarterback again. He’s worried that he’ll lose Quinn if he isn’t popular.
In the science lab (Sam and Quinn’s official private place), Sam gets on one knee and proposes a promise to Quinn. With a ring and everything. He promises to always be there for her and move heavy stuff, etc. Quinn says “maybe”. Sam’s sad.
Kurt is planning the Burt and Carole wedding (including 300 black glitter-fed doves). Finn’s worried about being a nerd and wants to use the wedding to be a ‘cool stud’ again.
Dave Karofsky is threatening (in an increasingly more menacing manner) Kurt again and steals his wedding cake topper. Will walks by and sees how scared Kurt is. He takes him to Sue to handle the situation. Sue says she was bullied too and understands, but he needs to learn how to deal with it. Kurt starts to tell Dave’s closeted secret (from ‘Never Been Kissed’ ), but doesn’t. Sue has his back if Dave ever touches Kurt, but her hands are tied legally until then.
Glee Club is worried about Dave bullying Kurt. Rachel wants the Glee girls to ask their football boyfriends to deal with him.
Sue is not only marrying herself, she is also officiating. While Sue is meeting with Marsha Dean, the confused wedding planner, her mother, Doris (Carole Burnett) comes in. Doris is even sassier than Sue. She’s a Nazi hunter and has finally finished her last snag. They haven’t talked in three years and she hasn’t seen Jean (Sue’s sister) yet either. Doris thinks Sue’s wedding is ridiculous. Sue doesn’t really care what she thinks. Doris wants to walk Sue down the aisle, but Sue’s walking herself down the aisle. Doris decides to sing for her instead.
Rachel asks Finn to talk to Karofsky. Finn can’t do it because it will affect him on the football field. Rachel has never been so disappointed in him. Mike and Artie tell Dave to leave Kurt alone and they mean business. I’ve never seen Mike show more than two emotions and this time he shows several. Karofsky pushes Mike into Artie. Sam steps in and smashes him. Puck can’t jump in because he’ll go back to juvie. Coach Beiste breaks it up
The boys are telling the Glee girls the story. Mercedes tells Finn he should have been the one to lead the charge. Sam is becoming the leader slowly, but surely.
Doris and Sue sing “Ohio” from “Wonderful Town”. Doris explains that she was sacrificing too by leaving them to hunt Nazi’s all over the world. They bond over the song and end up holding hands. Then Evil Doris is back and she is going to wear white to the wedding because it is more her color than Sue’s. Bonding time – over.
Kurt is holding a class for Finn and Burt to learn how to dance for the wedding. Finn is nervous to dance with Kurt with the choir room blinds open because people might see them. Dave does see them and makes a floppy wrist gesture through the door. Burt sees this and asks what that was supposed to mean. Kurt spills the beans about Karofsky threatening to kill him. Burt takes off after Dave and slams him into the wall. Calming down, Burt lets him go and then asks where the hell Finn has been this whole time instead of standing up for Kurt.
Dave’s dad and Burt are pulled into the office. Kurt tells them that Dave threatened to kill him. Dave denies. Dave’s dad says he has been acting up and talking back lately. Sue expels Dave.
Finn’s getting ready for the wedding. Santana helps him with his tie and tells him that he’s lost his cool factor. Sam is stealing his thunder. If only Finn would tell everybody that she and Finn did it last year, he’d get his cool back. He can’t do that because he loves Rachel and she thinks he’s a virgin. Santana says that maybe she will tell Rachel herself because then she and Finn can see each other. Hater. Rachel walks in and Finn realizes how nuch he loves her.
Glee Club kids dance and sing down the aisle to “Marry You” by Bruno Mars. Then Burt and Carole come dancing down the aisle – so cute!!! Pull out the hankies because their vows are great. Carole emphasizes that they are a family now and she’s so proud that Finn has become a brother to Kurt. (Now. he just needs to do it…)
At the reception Will sings “Sway” by Pablo Betrán y Su Orchestra (made popular by Dean Martin) for Carole and Burt’s first couple dance.
Time for best man speeches. Finn goes first. A new union is born between Finn and Kurt and their couple name is “Furt”. Finn promises to always have Kurt’s back even if it means getting a Slushie facial now and then. He has had the Glee Club put something together. He sings “Just the Way You Are” to Kurt. They dance together. Then the boys grab their parents and they all dance.
Doris and Jean are spending time together at Sue’s rehearsal. Doris is still making excuses to a hurt Jean about where she has been all these years. Sue marches in and her wedding dress is amazing! It is a blue track suit fashioned into a long dress. Sue marries herself which is funny as hell. Doris can’t take it. She doesn’t want to be in the background at her own daughter’s wedding. Sue tells her she’s a bully who was never there for them. She disinvites Doris from the wedding. Sue and Jean hug and tell each other that they’re beautiful. I love seeing Sue and Jean together.
Quinn is impressed with what Sam did for Kurt. She is wearing his ring after all.
Carole and Burt are back in Sue’s office and it turns out that the school board has decided that Dave can stay in school. Sue has a plan. She will resign as Principal (Figgins is back!) so she can keep a better eye out for Kurt (and get her office back). Kurt’s terrified. His parents want to talk to him.
Back in the choir room, Kurt reveals that he is transferring to Dalton Academy. (I knew it!) Carole and Burt are using their honeymoon money to pay for this semester. Finn is hurt Kurt didn’t talk to him first. Kurt is in tears, but he needs a school with a zero tolerance, no bullying policy. He will now be competing against them at sectionals. The Glee Club is stunned.
Next week: It’s time for sectionals!