Thursday, September 20, 2007
There I was loving my job though it was stressful. All of a sudden “oh BTW we are getting a new Admin” Well, okay, hope he isn’t an ass but, okay, right? He shows up. Cool, he is awesome and he likes the job I am doing, I get kudos and thanks every day, WONDERFUL! I like this boss. The nursing girls are warming up to me and realizing that I have to (and will) follow the rules by the book because it is what is best for all involved. COOL!
Then it happens, (a clap of thunder in the distance) “Oh BTW We are getting another new admin Bman is going to the sister site.” WHAT? WTF, why and who are we getting now? (Ominous hubbub going on the background. Black clouds of Mordor swirl in and loom overhead. A loud clap of thunder snaps as “IT” enters) There she stands, the succubus who will be the doom of all who have integrity.
Oh, crap I think to myself. This is not good. (Thunder rolls in the back ground and gets louder, the theme from Jaws begins to play in the background along with the scary noises from Friday the 13th, ch ch ch ch ha ha ha ha)
Her name is DARTH ALICE (remember this name for later in the story) She comes in all smiley and sweet and nicey nice. Butterflies which are actually chained to her evil skull, flutter around her angelically coiffed head. She compliments everyone and asks about what they do and how they do it, making conversation.
Then she sets her sights on me. I smile (as I have been very trained to do in ninja diversity school.) and say how lovely she looks (she likes compliments) and that I am doing very well thank you and please excuse me I have to go finish my schedule for the weekend. Which I do. Moreover, all is well in the land of Wendy kin. OR IT SEEMED. *giant clap of thunder*
Well the next day…Darth Alice brings the evil pin of lies and deceit and pops a hole in Wendy kin Sky walkers bubble. Well Wendy kin senses the trouble and says, “Why did you put a hole in my bubble Darth Alice Why?” And she laughs her evil DARK SIDE laugh MWAKAKAKAKAKAKA and says, “I have a new set of laws for the land and they go like this, There will be NO MORE agency in my building EVER! You will be forced to call everyone in the land over and over again to get them to come into work until your eyes bleed.” Then and there, she ties Wendy kin’s hands together with the evil rope of catastrophe and tosses her into the brink.
Now Wendy kin Skywalker is no fool and will not be toyed with in such a way. The schedule is set and is not going to be changed now. Wendy kin breaks free, paddles to her desk, and begins to jot down a few notes about Darth Alice’s behavior.
The weekend ends and Wendy kin goes into work and has to figure out how bad it was over the weekend. Well not terrible but not great either. According to the numbers we are in moratorium (which means we cannot admit for a week) We will check it again I say to me, and I do and there is still nothing I missed. Ah well, I take the numbers to the front and put them in Darth’s box.
Well, Darth calls in a panic and says in her craggy succubus voice, “Why are these numbers so low? Come to my office immediately and help me fix this.” (HELP ME FIX THIS remember this statement)
Okay, so I go to Darth’s office and there she is in a frothy panic. She says, “you know we can’t be under such and such for 2 days in a row or we can’t admit right.” I tell her “Yes I know but, that is what came out of the computer, that is who showed up to work including agency. ” I saw Darth’s eyes turn red. A clap of thunder rattled the building.
“Agency is in here too? I told you we can’t have agency in the building anymore.” She croaked. I said, “Well without it we would be lower. Why didn’t the nursing staff on duty this weekend call agency? They always do any other time. That is why we are short because they didn’t replace anyone.” She said “Didn’t you get a call this weekend?” I said, “Never do on the weekend. I don’t get calls on the weekend it is the nursing supervisor’s job to replace call ins.” Ha-ha, my Jedi skills are impenetrable.
She said, “Well isn’t there anyone else who was in the building that we might be able to use their hours? Did a nurse do ANY CNA work that we can move their hours? Can we give back any lunches?” (remember these words too) An evil cloud of deceit and forgery begins to ominously appear over her head. I draw on the force of honesty.
I said, “Um, No there isn’t anyone else to use, these were all the people in the building. NO we cannot justify using nurses hours as CNA without proper documentation that is a felony. In addition, NO We cannot give back lunches the state will eat our face. They are entitled to a lunch period by LAW and UNION. No there is nothing else we can do this is it.” An imperial white light surrounds me and I feel Darth Alice’s evil forces weakening.
“Well, All right then. “She says. “I suggest that we over staff the weekends like I have been doing and it usually comes out all right and we can’t get rid of agency completely yet I have to put the new schedule in place and see what I need to have in the way of more staff first.” She shrivels into her chair. “Just so you know, I don’t do dishonest work. I don’t lie and I will NOT falsify information for you or anyone else.”
My honesty had crippled Darth Alice but it was only temporary. I went back to my office and wrote it all down in my book. Then wrote an email to the consultant over my department (Well call him Jar Jar since he is a goofy little man with no discernable backbone whatsoever) and told him all the stuff she asked me to do. They showed up the next day. The force is with me.
Now this has pissed off the great Darth Alice I am sure and the reason I know she is worried that good will overtake evil is that after the consultant team showed up and talked with some others, and me she came to me and apologized for making me feel like she was asking me to be dishonest. We just need to find our” wiggle room” as she called it. I told her my wiggle room was agency and that was what saved our ass in the past. (I am about tired of being nice at this point)
“Well, I am sorry but Jar jar doesn’t want agency in the building. Therefore, we have to find other means now. (LIAR! OH what a FRIGGING liar! Shinanigans! He never said that! OMG What he said WAS that we need to work hard now that I am here to get agency out of the building! Jeezy Creasy I want to slam my head in a fricking door at this point! Son of a BIIIIIIIICHA!*falls on the floor twitching *thud*)
Well later in the front office I was talking with the girls and Serena comes in and hears us talking and she said “Well you want to know what she just told me about you girl?” and points at me. “You better be watching your ass because she just said to me that we need to find a way to bring Wendy kin over to “our side” on this.” (hence the star wars twist on this story) I said to myself Wendy kin better be writing everything down this evil wench says. “
So now, you know why I call her Darth Alice. That makes me Wendy kin Skywalker.
Anyway, to make a long story a bit less long, Darth got a new director of nurses and she is a pistol. She is old and bitchy, talks, and walks over everyone. Well Darth Alice apparently got to her, told her the lies, and so without even talking to me about things first. She had Darth get rid of me and since it was in my 90 days, they did not have to have a reason really. (Though the verbal reason I was given was that” though I am doing a good job and trying very hard that I just do not have the RN perspective. “(What the HELL IS THAT!)
So now, Wendy kin Skywalker has no Job. HOWEVER, the other Wendy calls Wendy kin. “*secret code* Dogs bark and can’t fly without umbrellas.” Hmm Wendy kin thinks to herself. Jenni wan Kanobi heard tell that all was amiss and wants my notes to investigate this further and to try to get me my job back. Well now, how good is this. “Thanks Wendy I’ll meet you in the am with a copy of my notes McDonalds?” cool.
So now, Jenni wan Kanobie is my only hope. Apparently, Jenni wan Kanobi went to have drinks with the girls and they told her everything that happened in reference to me and other things. She said that this was unfair and wants to investigate it further. I am hoping for a call from her soon.
Well I hope you enjoyed my story of what has been going on in my life and NO I DIDNT CHANGE NAMES (many comical expletives were deleted.) I am bitter and pissed. I ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS try to be a good, honest, hard working, fastidious employee and person in general and look what happened! I cannot even fathom it. Never have I been so frigging insulted in all my damn life.
Well I guess that is all I have to say at the moment.
Tomorrow is another day.