I lost 11 pounds. I used Nutrisystem© to do it. There was only one little problem.
Putting it on
During my retirement, which was several years ago now, the good life and less physical activity started putting the pounds on. When you can’t get into the jeans that you bought in a larger size, it’s time for some serious plan to combat the fat.
Nutrisystem to the rescue
I had been successful with Nutrisystem© once before. The plan works for me. The food is delicious. No counting calories or measuring portions. Cooking not required. Just nuke (my word for microwaving) the food and eat.
The pounds began to vanish, slowly and safely. Hunger isn’t included in the diet, although when 12 o’clock arrives, you are very ready for lunch. Balanced meals three times a day are included, with a small dessert to feed my addiction to cookies.
So, it was with great expectation that I bellied up to my Nutrisystem© lunch of patented and palatable Chicken & Pasta in Cacciatore Sauce. Until I bit down on a hard foreign substance.
Make that three. Not one, not two, but three pieces of a hard, solid, foreign substance did I fish out of my mouthful of Chicken & Pasta in Cacciatore Sauce. Not one of those substances was chicken, pasta, or a solid form of cacciatore sauce. They were unidentifiable other than being brown and hard.
Well, the good news was that I did not crack a tooth. If I did, I can’t tell. In my zeal for lunch, I was more interested in eating than in cautious chewing in search of foreign debris. Needless to say, after fishing out the offenders, I trashed the rest of the Chicken & Pasta in Cacciatore Sauce but kept the three pieces of hard foreign material. Lunch was ruined.
I called the Nutrisystem© number right away and spoke to a counselor. She was very pleasant. So was I for a change, considering the circumstances. She was sorry, oh, so sorry, and offered to send a replacement meal. I asked how I could be certain that the replacement meal wouldn’t contain hard foreign substances too.
The counselor repeated her apologies, as if that would placate me. When she realized it didn’t, “What do you want?” was all she could say. I said I wanted to find no hard foreign substances in my remaining Nutrisystem© meals. The conversation stopped there.
Asking to speak to someone in the Quality Assurance Department was my idea. That was not an option, the counselor said. I managed to get the address of the Quality Assurance Department, however, and fired off a letter including the container and the three pieces of hard foreign material. I made no demands other than some assurance that I would find no more hard foreign substances in my remaining Nutrisystem© meals. Somehow I doubt that I’ll get that, even if it is the Department that dishes out assurances of quality.
That’s about where it stands.
More meals in my cupboard
I have nearly a month’s worth of Nutrisystem© meals in my cupboard. I look upon them with suspicion. I do want to lose a few more pounds, so I’ll risk eating them on a daily basis. But I sure wish they’d leave out the hard foreign material.
This is a true story. No creative writing here. I’ll let you know what happens, IF anything happens. And please pray that my dentist finds no cracked teeth in my mouth.