I have received a few nice comments on the sartorial splendor I display in my latest photo. Okay – I have not received any nice comments, but the wise asses have been coming out of the woodwork.
Comments include ” I thought you were too young for a Florida retirement community.” ” I warned you about drinking and shopping” and “How far did you have to chase the homeless man to get that shirt?”
My daughter, who wouldn’t know tact if it bit her on the butt, has only ever offered me one piece of fashion advice – “Dad, there are reasons things are on sale.”
Well, all I can say is that I am just shocked that there are so many jealous people . You take that shirt, you get a bolo tie and you can run for Governor of any Southwestern state or go to any fine restaurant you want .
Again, my daughter was quick to point out that there is a difference between “going to” a restaurant and actually “getting into” a restaurant. Of course, my idea of fine dining is the local buffet, where I may add, I see many senior citizens wearing snappy shirts just like mine.
And may I add that I had my eye on that shirt all summer. Wal-Mart, known for its fashion sense and extra large sizes, had a display of fine Hawaiian shirts on display all summer. I must admit that I was a bit shocked at the shirt’s initial price of nine dollars, but I waited and waited until the price fell to three dollars.
My daughter was shocked? “Three dollars ??? Right now Wal-Mart is passing those shirts out the back door to homeless people for free.”
I am a bit puzzled, Wal-Mart did have a fine selection of Hawaiian shirts at the beginning of the summer, but the only ones left for three dollars was the good looking one I bought. Again, my daughter, and I’m sure she was very sincere, said “Imagine that!”
But I must dispel one rumor, I was not drinking when I bought that shirt. Sir, I may have been drinking before I bought that shirt, but that is a entirely different matter.
Meanwhile, I have my eye on a purple argyle sweater and I hope no one buys it and I can snap it up for a song when winter is over. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I hear my daughter saying, “Don’t worry Dad, don’t worry,. Unless there is a convention of color blind people in town, I am pretty sure that sweater will be yours.”