The arrangements were all set, but now the tough decision is made to call off the wedding. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, the wedding will not take place. The goal now is to preserve as much financial, social, and emotional capital as possible under the circumstances.
Your wedding attendants can help you here. They are your closest friends, which is why you chose them. This is a time to rely on these people to help you unravel your wedding plans. Your parents and family can also help you. Don’t expect to do everything required to call off a wedding all by you.
Tell Guests by Mail
Tell your guests that you are calling off the wedding. Let them know as soon as possible. Print up a simple message that says something like,”The wedding of Petra Smith and Jordan Jones has been cancelled.” Send it via snail mail. No explanation is needed. This is your private decision.
Tell Guests by Phone
If you don’t have time to send out notices, you need to call the guests instead. Write out a very brief script to let them know by phone. For example,” I have many people to call, so I don’t have time to talk. I’m calling to let you know that we are calling off our wedding. It will not take place. Thank you so much for your love and support.” Stick to the script. If somebody wants to ask you questions, interrupt, and tell them you don’t have time to talk now. Ask your attendants to help do the phoning with the same script.
Notify Your Service Providers
Read any contracts you’ve signed to look for the cancellation policy. Tell the caterer, the church, the reception venue, the musicians or disc jockey, ASAP that you’ve decided to call off the wedding. If you’ve paid a deposit to these providers, they have every right to keep it, since they will be losing out financially.
Cancel your honeymoon travel arrangements. Consider taking the trip anyway (with a same sex friend rather than your ex-potential spouse) if you think it will help you relax.
Return all wedding connected gifts. Hopefully, you kept a list of who gave you which gift. Hopefully, you haven’t received many gifts yet.
Whoever paid for the ring should get it back. Perhaps the ring is an heirloom from one of your families. In that case, the original owner should have the ring.
Take Care of Yourself
You will likely experience many strong emotions during this time, and for months to come. Expect that. Feel what you feel, and don’t squelch and stuff the emotions down. If you try to suppress your emotion, it will likely come out in unhealthy ways. Rather than gaining 50 pounds, or starting to smoke, practice healthy habits. Exercise a lot, and eat vegetables. See a counselor to help you manage, and help you put things in perspective. Remember, you chose to call off the wedding for a reason. You did the right thing.