Tired of raiding being a lonely sausage fest? Want to put the spark back in daily quests and alt leveling? Need somebody to buy The Rock for besides your bank mule? A female gamer is here to help you meet that special someone and capture their heart.
Much like the mythical unicorn, girl gamers are creatures cloaked in myth and superstition. However, with the right tools, you can find and woo one of these rare specimens.
1. Discard Your “There Are No Girls on the Internet” Philosophy
Being paranoid about every supposed female you meet on the internet is not going to aid you in your quest for a gamer girlfriend. Get with the times already. If you’re committed to finding a gaming girlfriend then embrace the mystery behind the avatar and do away with your skepticism. There are a lot more fish in the virtual sea than you’d expect. In fact, studies show that 40% of gamers in the United States are female. Once you’ve adopted this mindset, you’re ready to go on the hunt.
2. Start Playing an MMO
Don’t despair if you can’t find a chick in a game full of guns, blood, and camouflage-there is hope. After all, those types of games are marketed mainly towards males. While some girls are into FPS and RTS games like Counter-Strike and Starcraft 2, the majority of women will be found on more social, female-friendly MMO games. If you don’t already play an MMO, try your luck with one that has a massive playerbase, such as World of Warcraft.
(FYI to any females reading this, the Starcraft 2: Wings of Liberty campaign was actually very fun for me. My favorite aspect was the relationship between Jim Raynor and Sarah Kerrigan.)
3. Stakeout Your Local GameStop
If the MMO approach isn’t for you, I hope you’re a patient man. Hit up your local GameStop whenever you can and wait with baited breath for a female to wander into your trap…ahem, the store. Once your prey enters, pounce before she escapes! On second thought, striking up a conversation with her about what game she’s buying or looking for will likely garner better results. Also, any females working at the GameStop you’re staking out are pretty much guaranteed to like video games.
(Beware, when using this approach some of the women you meet will likely be the so-called “girl gamers” whose experience is limited to Nintendogs and The Sims. This probably isn’t what you have in mind for your ideal gamer girlfriend.)
4. Be Realistic
While media has exposed us to gaming goddesses like Felicia Day, Jessica Chobot, Mila Kunis, and Adrianne Curry, the women you meet are not going to look like this. These are the Victoria’s Secret models of the gaming world. Think about it, what do you look like when you spend all your free time sitting on your butt in front of a screen? I’m not saying whoever you find is going to look like a dog, but they’re not going to look like these women, either.
5. Impress Her
It’s important to remember that the way to impress gamer girls isn’t through your cool car, spiffy clothes, or rock-hard bod (though I’m sure those will get you brownie points). Instead, do what you’re best at and show off your epic loot, uber dps, and super-quick button mashing. Use whatever’s in your arsenal, be it a mad pvp skills or your raid leading prowess. While the target of your affections may not fawn all over you, she’ll definitely be impressed. Girl gamers have to make sure their men aren’t noobs, after all!
6. Don’t Be a Creeper
Beginning a relationship with a girl gamer doesn’t authorize you to act like a creepy pervert. Just use common sense. Read: no asking for pictures of her feet, cajoling her into seductively repeating your name over voice-chat, or talking about your cosplay fantasy. Moves like this are a surefire way of losing any girl you’re interested in at the drop of a hat.
7. Be Her Internet White Knight
Chivalry isn’t dead, especially if you’re looking to garner a gaming female’s affections. Use any opportunity that arises to charm her. Loot drops that’s an upgrade for both of you? Pass it to her. There’s only one raid spot left and both of you can fill the spot? Sit out for her. Someone nerd rages on her for aggroing an extra pack of mobs? Tell them to chill out, or even take the blame for her. The possibilities here are endless; just make sure she notices that you care about her.
8. Personal Hygiene
Ok boys, just because female gamers are familiar with the grunge of foregoing showering for all night gaming marathons doesn’t mean you have a license to be disgusting. You’re going to want to cleanup for any occasion where you’re together in person, or even for any pictures you send her. I.e., no greasy hair, hobo beards, or Funyun breath allowed. Trust me; any girl you meet is going to appreciate you taking care of yourself. The key here is NOT looking like a sallow-skinned basement dweller, even if you happen to be one.
9. Convert Your Non-Gamer Girlfriend
If you already have a perfectly good girlfriend (except for the video game component), then the best solution isn’t ditching her and starting all over. Instead, convert her into an awesome gamer girlfriend! It’s not hard to like video games. They key to getting her to embrace video games is knowing where to start and having patience. Do NOT start your girlfriend off with football and boxing video games, or you’re going to fail. Find something like Guitar Hero that you can both enjoy together, and progress from there. Encourage her when she plays well and don’t rub it in her face if you win. Competitive rivalry comes later, for now you just want her to play with you instead of nagging you to get off the game. I plan to expand upon this process in a future article, but these tips are sufficient for starting you in the right direction.
10. The Last Resort
Have you tried all of these steps and can’t catch a break? Want instant fulfillment without all the work? Sign up for gamecrush.com, where you can pay for girls to game with you. Currently they only offer a couple of Xbox Live games and generic flash games with webcam display, but I’m sure they’ll eventually expand due to high demand. After all, within minutes of opening the site’s servers were overwhelmed due to thousands of queries. They have since expanded their server’s capacity, however.
Personal experience: I met my current boyfriend on World of Warcraft.
40% of US Gamers Female
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