Every marriage can last if each person has the desire to make the marriage work. To help understand common mistakes couples make that lead them to divorce and what every married couple can do to make their marriage last, I have interviewed therapist Murray S. Kaufman, MA.LMFT, NBCDCH.
Tell me a little bit about yourself.
“With over 25 years in the mental health field, I am a Marriage and Family therapist and a National Board Certified Hypnotherapist. I have a private practice in Irvine, California called the Irvine Counseling and Hypnosis Center, where I work with individuals, couples and families.”
What are common mistakes that married couples make that lead them to divorce?
“I believe there are five key areas, which need to be working properly in a marriage. They are: Communication, Honesty, Trust, Balance of Power, and Intimacy. If there is a problem in any one or more of these areas, the marriage could be in jeopardy. The common error that most couples make is not utilizing counseling as a preventative of problems leading to divorce, and as a result, wait too long for help. I understand that we all have our pride in wanting to take care of ourselves first, however, when that proves to be unsuccessful, it is critical that we seek assistance in Marriage Counseling.”
How can a married couple make their marriage last?
“First of all, there needs to be a solid foundation in any marriage. This is best defined by a quote I use from Harville Hendricks, Ph.D that states that; “Love is a behavior, where the safety and welfare of the other is guaranteed.” By both individuals mutually accepting that the words, “I love you” are just words unless they are backed up with consistent actions, the marriage has a much better chance to grow, and withstand whatever problems we often face in marriage.”
What can a married couple do if they have a heated dispute that just doesn’t resolve?
“I believe strongly that, as I stated in question #2, the couple must seek assistance with a licensed therapist or counselor as soon as possible.”
What last advice would you like to leave for a couple who wants to make their marriage last?
“I’m sure we can agree that marriage is a gamble with no guarantees. However, couples need to demonstrate the love they have for each other, by choosing not to spend more time with what doesn’t work, and seek out what will.”
Thank you Murray for doing the interview on how to make a marriage last. If you would like more information on Murray S. Kaufman you can check out his website on murraykaufman4therapy.com.
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