You’ve known each other since first grade, played together on the schoolyard and attended the same college. Now, both with good jobs, you still see each other occasionally at parties and other group gatherings.
Gradually, something is happening to your maturing relationship. Your friendship seems to be evolving into something deeper. You experience some lingering hugs when greeting each other, and some quick kisses goodnight. You’re dating other people and consider your love life is going well, but your feelings for your childhood friend are like a new fire lighting up inside you.
When you look at each other’s eyes, the smiles last a bit longer each time you meet. Suddenly or gradually, you feel the primal urge to make a move that will heat up your relationship from friend to lover. The problem is: How to get it started. Here are some suggestions:
1. Choose an occasion, such as a concert or ballgame, and invite your friend to attend with you. Don’t make it a group gathering this time, but just what could be called a casual date.
2. Buy your friend a small gift for a birthday or other occasion. Or for no reason at all, offer a bunch of flowers, a box of candy or a cake or pie you’ve made yourself.
3. Send a funny card by email or snailmail, maybe on the anniversary of your first days together at school. If you can find a photo of the two of you as kids, send a copy, with appropriate humorous comments.
4. Invite your friend to dinner at a local restaurant, a cozy place where just the two of you can dine by candlelight. At the right moment, turn the usually friendly conversation into something warmer and more intimate. Start with how much fun it was to play together as kids, and now that you’re adults, it’s much more fun being with that special person.
5. Make that good night kiss and embrace much more intimate. If you believe it has become appropriate, express your growing feelings that you sincerely believe you’re in love. If it all fails, you can tell yourself: Well, at least we can go on as old pals.