Flirting is fun. If you’re new to the dating scene and hoping to meet that special someone to whom you can relate in a meaningful way, it’s an important skill to acquire.
It’s equally important to know when someone is attempting to flirt with you. If you keep your eyes open, the signs will be easy to spot. Once you realize that you are the target of someone’s efforts to flirt, the ball is in your court. You can either respond in a positive manner, or ignore the signals.
Caution is advised if, when you give no encouragement to the one flirting, he or she persists in their efforts. The line between flirting and sexual harassment can easily become blurred, especially if alcohol or drugs are part of the scenario.
However, most flirting is enjoyable and it may present the opportunity for a new friendships or even something more serious. Here are the signs to look for.
The person flirting will try to attract your attention. He may walk past you several times, or bump into you “accidentally”. He may raise his voice in conversation with friends, or laugh more loudly than necessary. He may try a variety of tricks to make you notice him.
Next, he will attempt to establish eye contact, and hold your gaze for longer than usual. Then, he may slowly look away. only to refocus his eyes on you soon after. This is a sure sign that he finds you attractive. If you are definitely not interested, look away and do not glance in his direction again.
Conversely, if you would like to get to know the unknown one better, try to relax, look comfortable, and adopt an welcoming body posture. Sit back, move your arms to an open position and assume a pleasant facial expression.
He or she will probably approach and stand or sit down close to you. He will open the conversation, ask your name and be especially charming. He will inquire about your interests, your career, and be extremely attentive to your every word. He will laugh at your jokes, and use your name repeatedly as if it was music to his ears.
Watch the body language. If he is leaning in toward you, with his feet and knees pointing in your direction, you have his complete attention. If he keeps looking at your lips, he wants to kiss you.
Pay attention to the hands. A lady who is flirting will fiddle with her drink or her earrings. She may flip her hair, trying to make you notice what she feels is one of her more attractive assets.
A man may straighten his tie, adjust his jacket, or try to smooth any wrinkles out his shirt or pants. He may even try to pull up his socks. These are compliments. He’s trying to look his best for you.
If you have responded to all these ploys in a positive manner, the next step will be to move into your physical space. He may whisper something in your ear, pat your hand or your arm, or drape his arm around the back of your chair and cradle your other shoulder in his hand.
A woman may pretend to pick a crumb or thread off your jacket, pat your hand or your hair, or move in closer, pretending she’s cold.
If things have progressed well this far, and you have perceived no negative vibrations, it is probably safe to exchange phone numbers or to arrange to meet for coffee later, or even to make plans for a future date. You can feel confident that you have become adept at the art of flirting.
For future reference: if the person with whom you are attempting to flirt makes it clear that your attention is unwanted and unwelcome and you persist anyway, your actions become sexual harassment. If the other person feels offended, demeaned or violated, you may face criminal charges.
Flirting should be entertaining and fun, an opportunity to meet, become acquainted and spend some time with a new person. It should never be allowed it to get out of hand.