There are three common kid personality types according to child therapist Brenna Hicks in Tampa Bay, Florida and Carroll Campion, a play therapist and school counselor in Columbia, South Carolina. Since the kids are back in school, the insights and all around good advice in this article will help you how know how to support these three common personality types with any situation that the new school year may bring their way.
First Kid Personality Type (the firecracker)
Chances are you will know if your child has the “firecracker” personality. This is the child who is quick to react and gets angry easily. Although easily provoked and angered, this type generally recovers in a short time period and is over their mad spell. Another word for this personality type is “spirited.” The trick to dealing with this personality type is to help them express something beyond anger. They are easily angered, but are apt not to express more vulnerable emotions. These kids like to have control. You can help them by teasing out their anger and getting them to express it in other ways, such as crying, or talking through their problem. This will allow you as a parent to get to the heart of the matter more quickly and find a solution to what is bothering them.
Second Kid Personality Type (the philosopher)
The kid with the philosopher personality type is more reserved, introverted, and shy. They tend to stay out of the fray, so they are less likely to experience the agony of defeat as often. They don’t take chances. But if or when they do experience defeat it can affect them more because they tend to analyze everything that happens to them, good or bad. You can help this child’s trait by trying to persuade them to come out with their feelings. Help them communicate their emotions so they won’t feel that they don’t have to experience the loss alone.
Third Kid Personality type (the easy rider)
The “easy rider” personality is cool, and laid back. Nothing seems to get to them. However, sometimes they will have to face a tough situation at school or elsewhere. When they do face a loss or some other disappointment, you can help them best by just “letting them” work through it themselves. Of course, you should be there for support should they ask you for it, but when they do use a light touch. The “easy rider” is a child who can make his own choices and will gain helpful life experience and self confidence by doing so.
Do you recognize your child’s personality type? If so following these tips should help you know the most effective way to deal with them. Following is some good general advice that the whole family should benefit from if you put these habits to practice.
1. Resist telling your child to “shrug it off.” Remember as a child everything is a big deal to them!
2. Reflect your child’s emotions. Say things like, “you must feel so frustrated,” or I bet that made you sad.” This will help your child define his feelings, allowing them to gain control over them.
3. Be a good model for your child. If you freak out in traffic and have a short temper, your child will tend to mimic your actions. However, it’s also good to let your child know that adults sometimes struggle too, and that we all have to learn how to cope. Be careful how your child sees you “cope” the next time something makes you angry or sad. Parents are a big influence on their children. Let them see the best you possible.
I hope explaining these three common personality types for kids have helped you to know better how to support your child when disappointment comes their way.
Article: Learning From the Tough Stuff: Publix Family Style Fall 2010 Issue.