At the present time gay people are more open and have more role models than they have had in history, yet many young men are still afraid of their true sexuality and mask it by playing straight. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a gay man, but covering it up and dating straight women is wrong. Gay men playing straight hurt themselves and their girlfriends or wives. Here are some signs to look for if you suspect your boyfriend or husband really likes men. And also some tips on how to approach him and help him with the subject.
However these tips aren’t definitive and aren’t the only reasons why your boyfriend or husband could or could not be gay. The tips also aren’t meant to be stereotypical or derogatory. They’re only meant to be used as a guide for rational people to then deduce if their boyfriend or husband could be gay or not.
1) He acts distant from you
You’ve been dating for a while but you never see him during the week. Your relationship seems good but he only calls you on Wednesday to make a plan for one night on the weekend. On that one night you go out to dinner or a movie, stay over at his place and leave in the morning because he has other plans. He never calls you during the week to chat or invite you over or make other plans. You know that he isn’t seeing any other women. He never invites you to hang out with his family or friends.
He’s not gay if he is actively dating other women. And trust me ladies you know when the guy is seeing other women.
2) He makes comments about or looks at other men
This would be the most obvious sign because men are hardwired to look at what turns them on. So pay attention if you’re watching a movie and he makes a comment about Johnny Depp or some other hot movie actor. Or see who he’s checking out when you’re walking around. If he’s glancing at men then that’s probably what he prefers. Also if he’s ever experimented with other men where he received oral sex from them, he is probably gay.
A straight man will check out women when walking down the street. Even happily married straight men will check out women on the street.
3) He tells other people you are his girlfriend but hasn’t said this to you
Although you guys don’t really see each other that often he still says he calls you his girlfriend. He tells people he works with, his friends and his family you are his girlfriend but you don’t feel like it. He kisses you more aggressively goodbye in front of his friends to show off but he doesn’t do this if there’s no one to watch him. If it seems like he’s only doing things for show then maybe he’s covering up his true sexuality.
For the most part with straight men you will have a conversation about exclusivity and when you become exclusive you call yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend.
4) He’s from a very religious family or culture that frowns on homosexuality
Some religions claim that being gay is a symptom and the strong willed can overcome it. But really being gay is as inherent as being straight. People are attracted to what they’re attracted to and no amount of denial will ease this. It must be extremely difficult to be from a religious family and realize that you are gay, so coming out for these men must be terrifying.
5) He’s into clothing labels and grooming habits
This could be the most stereotypical tip to look for but even straight-acting gay men care about looking good (for other men). So if your boyfriend seems a bit too into what brand of underwear he wears or is super vain and spends a lot of time in the bathroom then he could be gay.
Straight men for the most part could care less about shopping, shaving products, aftershave or what brand of jeans or underwear they wear. That’s what wives or girlfriends are for.
If you suspect your boyfriend is gay here are some tips on how to react.
1) Don’t confront him or accuse him
The best thing to do is to get him in a conversation where he knows he can trust you. Let him know that being gay is something that you are fine with.
2) Be supportive
You became a couple because of a friendship or common interests so don’t lose sight of this if your partner is gay. You might be hurt but try to put yourself in his shoes and be supportive of his true nature. Just because he came out doesn’t make him suddenly your enemy or a different person.