Most of us have been in love at one time or another with someone who didn’t love us back. Unfortunately, when that happens, some people turn into stalkers. A stalker is a person who follows someone around, calls them all the time, leaves them letters and gifts and won’t take no for an answer. If you’ve recently broken up with someone and you’re concerned you might be a stalker – here’s how to tell. And, if you are, stop it!
How Often Are You Calling? – Calling someone a few times after you’ve broken up is okay. Most of us have done it. But, if you’re obsessing over the person so much you’re calling twenty times a day and either talking to them, listening to their voice mail over and over, or hanging up when they pick up – yep, you’re in danger of being a stalker.
Are You Sending Lots of Mail? – If every time you see a cute card or find something funny on the internet and want to mail it to your lost love, that’s okay. If you actually do buy every cute card you see, or email him or her 30 times a day with funny messages, or saying “Just thinking about you”, you’re in real danger of becoming a stalker and should stop now – while you’re ahead.
Do You Say “I’m Not a Stalker”? – If you’re having a conversation with a friend and telling her about your ex, if you feel the need to say “I’m not a stalker or anything but……, you are, in fact, a stalker. And deep down, you know you are or you wouldn’t be trying to explain it away.
Have You Been Asked To Stop? – If the person you think you’re in love with has asked you to stop calling, writing or contacting them and you’re still doing it, stalking is a huge part of your personality.
How Often Are You Arranging ‘Accidental Meetings’? – When you break up with someone and, a month later, you want to see how they’re doing, arranging to ‘accidentally’ bump into them is something many of us do. But……if you’ve had an ‘accidental meeting’ with the object of your affection 10 times in the last month, you’re beyond obsessed and need some serious psychological help.
How Often Do You Drive By Your Loved One’s House? – When I broke up with a boyfriend I drove by his house a couple of times, just to see if he was home, then I forgot about him and just let it go. While you really shouldn’t be driving by someone’s house for any reason unless they’ve invited you round, a couple of times right after a break up won’t kill anyone.
But, if you find yourself doing a detour almost every time you leave your house, and you stop the car and sit outside waiting for them to arrive home or come out on their way somewhere, don’t be surprised if the next car to pull up behind you is a police car.
Thinking about someone after you break up is a natural thing. Organizing your life around when you’ll bump into them, buying cute gifts for them, or sitting on their doorstep waiting for them to come home isn’t. It’s stalking and your next move should probably be to make an appointment with a mental health specialist because, if you don’t, you could end up in jail.