When you are in an abusive situation, you may be hurting so emotionally and physically that you neglect to consider or even think about how this unhealthy relationship is affecting those that are close to you.
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, “1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men in the United States are victims of domestic violence at some point in their life.” Also, “1 in 5 female high school students report being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner” according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
1. Depressed & Exhausted
Family and friends can become depressed and exhausted attempting to be there for you. Over a period of time they can suffer depression. Sometimes it can just be too much. The ” doom and gloom” that you have expressed to them can become old and stale. They get tired of all the drama in your life. Remember your abusive relationship does affect your family and friends. If it is a situation where a teenage child has been found to be in an abusive relationship, it can be very depressing for the parents. Parents are suppose to protect their children. A parent might feel somewhat helpless watching their child continuing in an unhealthy relationship, even though the teenager states, “We are in love or He loves me.” The reality is that the teenager does not really know what love is but rather may be feeling lust and/or fear.
2. True Friends
Your true friends do not want to see you hurt emotionally or physically. They will be there for you when you choose to leave your abusive relationship. Your friends want the best for you. When you are hurting, they may also be hurting with you.
Your family and friends may worry about you. They may wonder when will be the next time you are going to be injured. They may wonder how long will you be able to survive this unhealthy relationship. We have no choice as to who our mother and father might be, but we do have a choice regarding the relationship that we choose. Remember it is a CHOICE.
Sometimes at some point in time your family and friends may say “enough is enough.” They may get tired of the many times that you have said you are finished and have left the abusive person only to return eventually. Family may feel you should realize that the “I’m sorries,” the “It will never happen again” or “I have so much pressure at work” are just a progressive pattern of the excuses that an abusive and/or controlling person uses. Family and friends may come to a point that they say, “Next time you receive a black eye don’t call me.”
When children are involved in the abusive situation, family and friends may not want their children to be around you for fear the children may witness this abusive behavior. Family and friends may become extra protective of their children, because they do not want their children thinking that this unhealthy relationship is okay. Family and friends may attempt to spend time with your children in an effort to help your children and show them that healthy relationships do exist even with the problems and pressures of life.
The domestic violence and the verbal abuse that occurs in a relationship can be devastating. Most times family and friends can readily see the signs of the abuse in the relationship. Family and friends can get frustrated when you protect or make excuses for the abuser in your relationship. They can see the damage that it does, but they sometimes just can quite understand why it is that you choose to stay in this type of unhealthy relationship. They can’t quite understand what is going on in your mind.
a. Accept the help of family and friends. This is not the time to be prideful.
b. Remember it is a choice that you make to become a healthier you.
c. Do not delay in getting help. It might be a matter of life and death.