People are hard to figure out sometimes, and in many cases the mental anguish is not worth the effort. Case in point: when a boyfriend’s family obviously does not like you and the reasons are not clear, forget about trying to figure out why. If the relationship with the boyfriend is worth saving, learn how to deal with the situation and let it resolve itself – if it ever will. Chances are that sheer ignorance or a lack of courtesy plays a big role when it comes to the attitude of the family, and the situation is not going to magically change. Use the following tips if the family of a boyfriend obviously does not like you, and try not to let it ruin a once-in-a-lifetime relationship. They are the ones that are losing out in the end.
Always Treat His Family with Respect and Kindness
Acts of hatefulness never result in happiness or true satisfaction. When the family of a boyfriend have decided they do not like you, do not stoop to their level of internal ugliness. Do not go out of your way to converse, but as difficult as it might be, always treat the family of a boyfriend with complete respect and kindness. This way the boyfriend and his hateful relatives can never say with any amount of truthfulness that you were rude or unkind. Kill them with proverbial kindness when in their presence and with any luck they will eventually see the error of their ways – if they are capable of being kind and accepting.
Separate Yourself from their Family Activities
A person can never truly get to know the relatives of a boyfriend if they are never included in anything, but why make plans to visit with people that clearly do not like or accept you? Separate yourself from the family of the boyfriend when it comes to activities including holiday gatherings in their homes, dinner plans, and other private functions. Do not try to separate your boyfriend from his family, but do not try to push yourself into their tightly knit group if it is already clear they do not like you. Why would anyone want to spend time with people like that anyway? Spend time with the boyfriend away from his relatives and their turf, and save yourself from dealing with icy glances, uncomfortable silent moments, and offhanded questions and comments.
Spend More Time with your Own Family
When your boyfriend is visiting with his family, visit your family. A boyfriend should not be his girlfriend’s entire world. Make a date for lunch with parents and siblings, or just visit whenever possible. Maintain a high level of independence and personal space away from the boyfriend, and forget about the misgivings of his inconsiderate family. They can live in their own little world, and you do not have to be included – especially since marriage is not part of the equation.
Let your Boyfriend Deal with His Wonderful Family
Give a boyfriend the space he needs to be with his family, and if they become too unreasonable, hopefully he will come to your defense. A boyfriend that truly loves his girl will not let his family continue to inflict any level of emotional harm. If he does not speak up, it might be time to examine the relationship to figure out if it is worth saving and pursuing further. Blood really is thicker than water in every sense of the phrase. Parents, siblings, or any of the family members that do not like you are not people worth becoming further acquainted with at any level, especially through marriage. Once you say I do, you might just wish you had run the other way.