Imagine you are in a troubled relationship. You need a shoulder so you go to a general chat site on the computer and ask for help. Someone sees your plea; responds and suddenly you both realize you have the same problem.
You begin to share your story with your new electronic friend. She listens intently and responds in such a way you honestly believe she really does understand your plight. She shares some of her situation with you and you recognize the problem right away. Days go by; you and your new friend continue to speak on the chat board. You both share so much of your dead-end relationship that you feel you know each other.
You decide to meet in person. You meet your electronic dream and you instantly realize your destiny has caught up to you and you fall in love immediately. You are both cautious because of your history. You are also feeling guilty because you are both in a relationship right now. Still, you can’t help yourself. It isn’t lust alone, after all, she is a couple of a hundred miles away. You have seen a picture so you know she is beautiful; you just know she is the one.
During your discussions what would you do if your new partner suddenly asked you about your past romances? Would you need to question why he / she wants to know. Does it really matter? Will your partner use details from your past to help determine whether they will stay with you or not? Will they use those details to justify them doing something they shouldn’t be doing?
Whatever happened prior to meeting and being with your current partner has little bearing on your relationship with him / her today. It really doesn’t matter who either of you have been with or how many. The person your partner fell in love with, did not come into existence until the moment he or she realized they loved you; until that first moment you both understood the ultimate outcome of your internet tryst or even your real life relationship.
There is no past; there is only future. It is as if you are both babes, awakening for the first time. There should be no questions and there should be no stories regarding anything that took place before the moment you set eyes on each other. If you would like to share memories from another world, the world of childhood, go ahead. But as far as your adult life, you were never an adult, until your destiny walked into your life. Those are the moments, from that time on, that mean anything.
If you offer romantic information from your past your partner is going to question why did you tell me that? Is it because you are thinking about your past? If you are thinking about your past instead of the present, why are you? Do you miss the past? Would you rather be there instead of here, with me? If you want to share stories or anecdotes or past experiences make certain they never include romantic activities enjoyed with past partners. There is no room for any other romance in your life now.
Both partners need to make their partner know and believe that they are the number one priority in your life. Everything you do or say must be centered on that one person before any other potential mate or partner. No one likes to be compared to anything, especially to something they don’t know anything about.
The last thing I would ever care to hear about my wife is, how many other men she has been with. I could care less! Besides, it really is none of my business. I’m concerned about the here and now. My interest leans more to the “How many times is she going to sleep with me.” I have a selfish nature and I will not tolerate rivalry. I hope my wife is selfish with me as well and not tolerate rivalry either.
Neither the wife nor the husband should ever share romantic thoughts or memories of her or his past with their mate. The past is just that, the past; concentrate on the present and the future. Acknowledge the gift you have been given and make the most of your good fortune.