That was it? That was the big season finale! What a total suck fest. I just wasted 60 minutes of my life that I can never get back. Why did you ever make them go to Miami? They should have stayed in Jersey and then we would all still be laughing. Thanks MTV. Thanks a bunch….Jerks.
Well last nights episode told us why Jersey Shore is on it’s last limb….Because it’s boring. You heard me right, my beloved Jersey whack-a-do’s are not bringing the funny. It’s the same exact thing over and over again.
For real it’s like watching a re-run every week. We already know what is going to happen..Snooks will get bombed, Mikey will act like a DB, Ronnie and Sammi will fight and then smush, Jwoww will smoke, and Vinny and Pauly D will make us smile. Alright, alright let’s get this over with….
Things we love…Nothing. This week it has become…Things we didn’t hate as much.
The crew hitting the Everglades, being terrified of bugs as big as Snookie, and Mike puking up frog legs.
Vinny still being happy and Ramona being his best memory in Miami. He also said no to the gross pigs offering a threesome. Mike on the other hand……
Ronnie without Sammi. He can be funny sometimes, but as soon as Sammi walks in the room you can actually see the fun spill out of his body.
Stripper poles….Snooks finally felt at home because the club had a stripper pole. What? Where in gods name is Snookarooney hanging out when she’s home?
Just say NO to a hoe! The only good line of the night, Vinny and Pauly D once again the shinning stars in a dark sky.
Ronnie telling Sammi to mind her business when Snooks was crying tequila tears. Yay. I wonder if Ronnie is afraid of Sammi. She looks like she could cutta beyotch if need be. There is a lil’ something behind her eyes that kinda creeps me out.
The Vinny Snookie cuddle. Please get married and have little Vinnys. That could be the spin off show! How I Met Your Mother…Jersey Style.
Cabs here! We know, we know. You want to know how we know, because it’s the same every freakin’ week
Things we hate….
Ronnie and Sammi on my television! Get off! Please make my last night in Jersey happy by ending this hot mess of a relationship.
The Situation and his dirty, STD, tranny looking, hoe filled threesome in the bathroom. Gross. Just gross. Way to go you hosebags, your families must be so proud that you had a threesome in a public bathroom….With a stranger. You should get a copy of that and show it to the family on Christmas. Make ’em proud!
Sammi, girlfriend needs medication and that’s all I am going to say. I don’t mess with the unstable.
The lack of subtitles during this episode. People talking with a full sangwich in their mouth or talking while being shizz faced and crying hysterically because they got caught lying…Yes Snooks own it.
The lying from Snooks and Jwoww…..Rotten girls, really,really, rotten. Poor Pauly D almost stroked out in the hot tub trying to see through all the bullsheit.
Snooks being a shizz talker about everyone. Blame it on the alcohol baby,whatevs, but you my friend have diarrhea of the mouth tonight girl.
Things that make us go hmmm
Pauly, my beloved Pauly calling Rocio his girlfriend and hooking up with randoms. WTH? It is common knowledge that your girlfriend will get mad if you have sex with other women. Sounds crazy but it’s true. That’s just how women are.
The stuff that was in the fridge. Two words…Beyond Gross. How could they actually eat the food that was in that fridge? Blech.
The last night, it was like Mikey was looking to start shizz….Shocker. Who does shots and then plays a game where you punk on each other? Wow, that sounds like a fun game. Let’s drink a bottle of tequila and then we will vote on who sucks the most….Let the good times roll.
Snookie telling Jwoww she was going to have sex with her later. THE most disturbing comment. No amount of wine could wash the horror out of my brain.
And so now it’s over. Who knows what’s going to happen with Season 3. The kids from the shore of Jersey may have to look for a new gig soon. It’s starting to look like the never ending summer is coming to a close. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted