God Calling’s message this morning is of oneness with Jesus. He said that He would never leave or forsake us. He never does-it’s the only reason that I can think of that, when you’re so exhausted that you just crash to sleep, outside, and with total strangers, you wake up alive-time and time again. Jesus is the only reason I can think of that, when our lungs are packed with gunk and you really aren’t even able to take in any oxygen, and you get every diagnosis but the right one for three weeks, you’re still alive. “I will never leave you or forsake you” is why, when they find a “something” on your lung, in one x ray, and put you through tests and then they take a second x ray, only to find that “something” is gone. They can’t explain where it went. All the doctor kept saying is, “It was here, see? But it’s gone in this slide…but it was here.” I know where it went. I lifted my hand to praise the Lord and I felt him flick that “something” off of my lung in that very instant. “I will never leave you or forsake you.” – Not through all the wild nights in all the bars, not through the alleys where you’re shooting up, not through the crack houses, not through all the johns, not through that abortion, not through the relapses, not through anything. Not through anything will Jesus leave you. He’s right there when you’re taking that hit of dope. He’s right there at the bottom of your bottle…and he’s right there when you get to the end of yourself. He loves us! Lord knows I’ve drug him to and through some awful places in my life. That oneness with him is what destroys the grip those things have on us. That’s why it’s so crucial; especially to recovery of any kind and relapse prevention. Oneness with Him gives us the strength to go through things, to survive and, usually, whether we know it or not, we are stronger for having gone through. Oneness with Jesus brings peace and joy. Holding on to that, not letting someone rob me of that, is a bit of a challenge lately. But, this too shall pass.
5:30-7:30 p.m. – I’m Watching clouds in the sky. Earlier, a straight up and down backbone, with very distinct vertebrae, demonic- faced cloud in front of it. Now it is almost parallel to sky and one “piece”, vertebrae no longer distinct, demonic face the same, but less distinct. Also, there’s a demonic monkey face and another demonic face. Just as I’m writing this, the face of a lion, no teeth and bent down goat’s ear-it would be the right ear, almost a uni-brow, very furrowed with what looks like Moses’ rod over his nose. Now he’s faded and almost directly below, a human mouth and chin, looks like a rod or “stick” of some kind in his mouth. The demon faces look angry, confused, or in pain. Then, Jesus’ face, one eye covered and hair blowing back on one side-looking down, appeared. I tried to draw it, but I’m not a very good artist.
*Several nights ago, a friend and I were out here and some of the demonic faces appeared then too.