According to Dimewars.com, singer Katy Perry, has imposed a sex ban on her fiance, comedian and actor, Russell Brand.
Desirous of an extra-sweet and extra-special wedding night, Ms. Perry has decided that she and her dude must refrain from sex until the wedding night, which according to rumor, will take place in India in about one week.
She has got to be joking! The man is a self-confessed sex addict for the love of Pete! Russell Brand going a week without sex is like asking the sun not to shine. Did she not read his best-selling book, “My Booky Wook” in which he can be quoted as saying:
“To this day, I feel a fierce warmth for women that have the same disregard for the social conventions of sexual protocol as I do. I love it when I meet a woman and her sexuality is dancing across her face, so it’s apparent that all we need to do is nod and find a cupboard.”
Maybe she also didn’t see his sex scene with Kristin Bell in the movie “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” Hell, I’m still trying to figure out how to get into such positions without needing a chiropractor, accupunture or a spinal decompression.
According to Russell Brand’s book, this bloke is hornier than a junkyard dog on Viagra and just look at him; the man oozes raw sexuality. I almost had an orgasm watching him do stand-up on the telly and it has nothing to do with looks. Some people are just like that. They literally drip and spew pheromones.
And is Katy serious about playing Little Miss Virginal Bride just a few days before her wedding. Heck, she used to date Travie McCoy from Gym Class Heroes for about three years and he is not exactly an angel. His song lyrics are often about drugs and he sometimes blogs about his love affair with artificial stimulants.
Hold up a second! Russell Brand has also had a penchant for touching the sky himself and seems to have had a successful recovery after a stint or two in rehab.
The sweet-faced, overly-girly and rather colorful Katy Perry likes those bad boys, doesn’t she? Hmmm. I’m just saying.
Russell Brand is ten years old than his bride-to-be, so maybe she doesn’t quite understand how a lot of men operate. Maybe she doesn’t watch the news and realize that most men are horn-dogs and those in the limelight are cheaters to the fifth power. Maybe she should give Elin Woods or Sandra Bullock a call, but then again, some men have a beautiful and passionate wife at home and still cheat.
According to MirrorUK, Brand and Perry will be married in a Hindu ceremony and will spend their wedding night at the Taj Rambagh Palace Hotel in Rajasthan.
I hope India is prepared for the volcanic eruption that may occur on the wedding night of Katy and Russell. Evacuate the area, here come Mr. and Mrs. Russell Brand!
MTV Article on Travie Mcoy: http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1583063/20080310/gym_class_heroes.jhtml
Mirror UK Article on the Brand/Perry Wedding: http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2010/10/17/russell-brand-told-no-sex-before-marriage-by-katy-perry-115875-22640978/