So last night was the 200th episode! Hard to believe. And they’ve been on for eleven seasons. Lots of the alumni were sitting in the audience and the cameras managed to catch glimpses of them from time to time. I was grossed out to see Jake Pavelka. Remember he was that nasty bachelor who treated Vienna so terribly. Thank goodness we only had to see his ugly mug once on camera. I was happy to see Erin Andrews again, as well as Melissa Rycroft with her flat stomach that’s really suppose to be a maternity stomach but we just don’t see it. Anyway, lots of familiar faces were on DWTS tonight.
Two previous mirror ball trophy winners were also there as team captains – Kristi Yamaguchi and Apolo Ohno. They divided up the final six couples in teams to have two group dances. On Kristi’s team was Kyle, Bristol and Rick. On Apolo’s team was Kurt, Jennifer and Brandy, all with their pro partners. It’s always fun to see them during rehearsal. Everybody seemed to be having a good time, except for Jennifer Grey who looked like she was on death’s door. We kept hearing her saying that her doctor told her to take breaks. She mentioned it a few times, but no one seemed to be paying attention to what she was saying. I kind of felt sorry for her. She seemed to be suffering alot. Anyway, in spite of that, it was apparent that Kristi’s team were the underdogs and Apolo’s team were the superstars. For the underdog team, Kristi’s group did great though. Scores were all eights. But Apolo’s team kicked butt and scored all nines. Who the hell was that screaming in the audience while everyone else was clapping? Anyone else hear that? It was distracting. Anyway, the quote of the night came out of Cheryl Burke’s mouth when she said to Bristol Palin, “It’s not embarrassing, it’s hot!”.
So let’s get on with the single dances. Each person had a retired “guest judge”, just to make it interesting. First up was Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer with Mel B. as their guest judge. Each couple was interpreting the dance that the guest judge did with their pro partner when they were on the show. Mel B. danced the Paso with Maks, so trying to outdo a sexy dance that Maks did is like comparing my cooking prowess to Rachel Ray’s. In order to resemble Maks, Kyle took a black magic marker and drew abdomen lines on his chest and stomach. He moved his vest aside and said to the camera “Hey check out my situation”. Funny stuff. Kyle and Lacey did really good. Maybe the magic of Maks was rubbing off on Kyle, even though Maks is tall and hunky and Kyle is kind of short and stubby. But we love Kyle anyway. He’s fun.
Second up on stage was Anna Trebunskaya and Kurt Warner. Their guest judge was Emmitt Smith. When Emmitt was on the show, he danced with Cheryl Burke and they did the Tango. We saw Anna and Kurt in the studio during rehearsals where tall and gangly Kurt seemed to keep tripping on little tiny Anna. She kept telling him the steps were “easy”, which annoyed Kurt to no end. But he did good and the judges threw him some praise tonight. But did you see Anna during the time when they were getting their scores? OMG, she looked like she was going into spasms with that stupid phone dialing gesture thing she does with her mouth and hands. Just a little too over the top there tonight, Anna. Tone it down a bit, okay? We get it. You want us to vote for you. Geez.
So third on the list was Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas, and their guest judge was Kelly Osbourne. We remember Kelly on the show dancing with Louis Van Amstel while she was transforming from a caterpillar into a butterfly. She still looks like a butterfly. She came out on stage all cute with her blonde ponytail and her tiny figure. Good for Kelly. The dance was the Viennese Waltz, which is a very sensual dance. Not a good pick for Bristol, since dancing with her for Mark must be like dancing with his elderly Aunt Bee. Bristol tried, but the judges noted the lack of chemistry. Mark was a gentleman and just talked about how they have fun while practicing. Yeah right Mark. But kudos for being a gentleman.
Out on stage next was Cheryl Burke and Rick Fox. Their guest judge was Helio Castroneves who danced with Julianne Hough when he was competing on the show, doing the Quick Step. During rehearsals, Rick’s girlfriend stopped by. Her name is Eliza and she was about one tenth the size of Rick. She did some dance moves with him, but she did them while her whole body was wrapped around his waist and he barely seemed to notice she was there. Then later, he and Cheryl did their thing. I think I was seeing things, but I swear I saw him and Cheryl bopping up and down and getting out of sync and bopping to different beats during their dance. I was thinking “oh my the judges will rip them apart for that”, but I was wrong. The judges all said it was his best dance ever. I must have been hallucinating or something. I even pressed rewind to be sure I wasn’t seeing things, and sure enough, there was Rick bopping up when Cheryl was bopping down. I must be delusional.
Now for the highlight of my evening. You guessed it. Maksim Chmerkovsky and Brandy were next. And if that wasn’t sexy enough, their guest judge was Gilles Marini who also danced with Cheryl Burke when he was on the show. One quick comment about Cheryl. Seeing her on these old clips from past shows, we see her with her short hair. It’s so obvious that she looks much better and much prettier with her hair long the way it is now. I hope she keeps it that way. But we are getting off track here. Maks and Brandy were dancing the Fox Trot tonight. I don’t care if they were doing somersaults, they would still be sexy doing it. When they were done, Carrie and Bruno both said they made a mistake. Mistake?! No way. I didn’t see any mistake. Len said he didn’t care and actually gave them a 10 score! Maybe Len isn’t as senile as I thought and perhaps he should stick around a little longer. I was putting him out to pasture in the last couple of weeks, but I take it back now. By the way, Maksim was beautiful tonight. Hey Maks, I love you!!
The last couple out on the dance floor was Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough. Their guest judge was Drew Lachey who also danced with Cheryl Burke when he was on the show. It seems like everybody, at one time or another, has danced with Cheryl. I really did feel sorry for Jennifer tonight. We saw her during the week and how exhausted she was. She went to her doctor and we could see bruises all over her body and she was crying from fatigue. Her doctor told her to remember that she was fifty years old and not twenty-five. She was crying to Derek and telling him how frustrated she is that her body can’t do what she wants it to do. I have to hand it to Derek Hough. He’s a young guy, so I wouldn’t think he’d be as empathetic as he is, but we saw him hugging her, rubbing her back, and whispering in her ear “It’s fine” and “You got it babe”. When they finally did their dance live on TV tonight, they did excellent. But I noticed Jennifer didn’t even crack a smile during the dance. I think she’s lost her mojo. But even though that leaves the door wide open for Maks and Brandy to win the whole thing, I still feel bad for Jennifer.
So those are my thoughts for this week. I just love this show. I have a smile on my face from the moment it comes on to the moment I delete it from my DVR. It makes me feel like I’ve been out dancing all night too when in reality I was sitting home on my comfy sofa, drinking a glass of wine, and eating a few crackers all by myself while my hubby is fast asleep. It’s an escape for us ladies. That’s why we go through withdrawal when the series is over and we have to wait a couple of months before it comes back on. In the meantime, I wonder who will be voted off tonight. Probably Bristol. Then she can stop being embarrassed. Can’t wait to see what happens tonight.