About 2 year ago, my youngest son, then 16, asked if cars existed when I was a kid. Just in my mid-40’s, I suddenly felt totally decrepit and geriatric. We then then discussed my technological tribulations, which left him flabbergasted and flummoxed (only an old fart would use such archaic expressions).
Here is a list of life-changing technology that got me all excited:
My first cell phone was huge, weighing almost 6 lbs. I remember calling my mother all excited saying, “Mom, I’m talking to you from inside my car!
I remember going on the internet for the first time. There were barely any websites!Now I can’t imagine how humankind ever survived without it.
MP3 PLAYERS AND IPODS
I love my IPOD. I thought 8-track tapes, audio cassettes and CDs were hot stuff. I never imagined I’d ever carry a zillion songs in something the size of a make-up compact.
I remember walking to a friend’s house to listen to music, carrying vinyl records in a wooden box. It weighed like half a ton.
Remember 45-adapters and scratches on vinyl records where the needle would stick and you’d have fix the record player (I’d kick it or throw a shoe at it.)
I remember working in an office before PCs and actually typing documents on a manual typewriter. If you made a typo, you had to use white-out or if it was a really bad typo, the entire document had to be re-typed!
I am so loving the GPS. I just got one recently. I no longer get lost and driving is now a complete no-brainer.
TEXTING AND SEXTING
I was resistant to texting and thought it was ludicrous (if I was younger, it would be Ludicris). I couldn’t see the point of texting, when you could call and talk. Then I realized, now that my kids are grown, moved out and live far away, that if I ever wanted to communicate with them again, I’d have to add text. As for sexting? Well, us old folks like to have fun, too (hehehehe (cackling demented old lady laugh).
Since I signed up to Facebook, I have re-connected with old friends and family members I never thought I’d hear from again. It’s cooler than a snow-cone machine!
Photography was once traumatic. You’d buy film, take pictures, schlep to a film shop, guarding the film from sunlight and damage like you were Indiana Jones and it was the Ark of the Covenant). You’d then wait 2 weeks for film development, then schlep back to the film shop, pay a fee and then discover most of your pictures sucked!
Now I love my digital camera. I have a Canon Coolpix and even better, it’s a girly metallic pink with a cute little carrying case. I now take pictures, check them immediately and develop them my damned self. It’s pure magic!
OTHER THINGS THAT MADE ME GO HMMM BACK IN THE DAY
Here is a list of ancient relics and artifacts I’ve actually owned and/or was excited over and remember seeing for the first time:
8-Tracks and Boom-Box Audio Cassette Player
VCR and Betamax
Cell Phone The Size of a Small Dog
Landline Phones with Dials That Went Round and Round
Three Movies for the Price of One
Gas That Was Less Than a Dollar Per Gallon
3-Cent Postage Stamps
No FM or Satellite Radio
Mainframe Computers the Size of a Small Town
People Actually Used Pay Phones
Record Player with Album and 45-Record with the Little Disk Adapter
Actually Writing and Mail Letters to People
Later, all you young whipper-snappers (hehehehe!). I have to go now and take my Geritol and rub some Ben-Gay on myself.
Check out my follow-up article for more technological laughs:
LIFE BEFORE TECHNOLOGY (Part 2): You Know You’re Old when You Remember How to Actually Write Out a Check, Use a Postage Stamp, Sing the Star-Spangled Banner, Get Your Porn from Actual Magazines and Your Kids Have Normal Names