Why is it that some of us are attracted to Bad Boys that take us on a rocky road leading us to let down, and some of us always know how to pick a Mr. Right? Are some just plain lucky when it comes to hooking that hunk with the amazing personality?
Actually no, it’s all about knowing how to use the law of attraction the right way as it has a lot to do with who you end up with when scouting out a new love interest.
But enough of that for now, what I want to focus on is actually when starting out on the hunt for a new man. What catches your eye about that smoldering someone from across the bar?
Was it his personality that enticed you to take notice of him on the internet dating web site or newspaper singles advert?
What was it about that waiter that brought you coffee?
One tiny thing can have us hooked, so what the heck is it?
Looks vs Personality?
What catches my eye personally is that of a devastatingly handsome virile young fellow that knows how to make and hold eye contact (reading between the lines has never been my thing) and knows exactly how to make the approach. The eyes say a lot. Some say it’s like looking into the gateway of the soul. The whole gateway thing I have never quite got, so I go with something a bit easier – what the eyes tell me is whether this strapping fit individual is going to buy me a drink or not. And we all have to start somewhere don’t we?
To put it bluntly, my sub conscious sure ain’t jumping up and down screaming ‘he has a great personality’, ‘he looks kind’ or ‘I could take him home to meet the parents’!
It’s certainly not personality that would grab my attention from across a music filled bar. No sir-ee, personality has nothing to do with it.
It is near enough impossible to figure out someone’s personality from just a sly glance, so I have to go by something – and if that something happens to be looks – so be it. Personality appears later.
The Throw Down
I go ahead and ask myself can I see myself in bed with that man or not? I’m no longer a one night stand kind of gal, but if I can’t see myself in bed with that fella for one night, then how could I even attempt to picture it for a month/year or more?
Do I notice what clothes he has on?
I guess if he had nothing on then I would notice (!), but as long as the guy in question isn’t dressed like a tramp that has just finished a mammoth session of binning, then its not really a deal breaker if he isn’t decked out in designer labels as long as he doesn’t look like his Mother put his outfit together. Off course I do pay attention if the guy is right up my street, but for me personally he has got to have that cheeky chappy confidence with the banter to back it up.
It helps if you can tell immediately if he has got throw down, but hey who am I to judge from a first impression. And after all, that can always be figured out at a later date if all looks good after the initial flirtatious intro.
The eye of the beholder
Now tell me, would you give the time of day to someone who you found physically repulsive just because they ‘may’ have a lovely personality?
I may sound a bit harsh here but I have tested this theory to allow for another viewpoint. My findings were simple. I will not waste my time (or the poor blokes) ever again testing this theory. If you do not find the fella at least half attractive how on earth can you build a relationship with him if he makes your skin crawl?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder it’s true, so with that in mind it would possibly be a wise choice not to give the ‘eye’ to men that really do not float your boat.
Let him have a chance with another beholder.
Boundaries mean challenges don’t they?
Upon occasion, some men really do over estimate their looks when scoping out the talent. For example, I am on many a dating site and I am quite shocked at some of the men that try to make contact. Yes, god loves a trier and if you don’t try you will never know, but talk about over estimation!
I’m not saying that a mediocre looking bloke shouldn’t aim high and look above his catchment group. What I am saying is that a butt ugly bloke shouldn’t aim for a ’10’.
I myself would absolutely love to be on the arm of Brad Pitt, however if Brad and Robert Downey Jnr were my 2 options (my world rocks), then I would opt for Robert. The reason being Rob is your happy go lucky normal and attractive looking joe, but Brad, well what can I say? I physically could not be bothered dealing with the stress of watching women fling themselves at my man right in front of me. Opting to be with a Greek god such as Brad would have my mind working over time, as at the end of that stress filled day, most of us ladies would not consider going near another woman’s man, but there are those few seductresses that will do what they can to go home with what they have set their sights on. That goes for whether the fella in question has a partner or not.
So you see, its not as if a mediocre bloke couldn’t attract a stunner, he probably could depending on what the stunner sees (eye of the beholder and all that). But would that mediocre bloke feel comfortable? For a short period the fella would be on top of the world, but all it takes is a small suggestion that his woman could do so much better and BANG – its therapist time.
Dam that curse of the beautiful.
And so it begins
So basically it starts from mutual attraction wouldn’t you agree?
It’s the looks that reel either side in but what these men do with their looks after the intro decides on whether or not that gorgeous chap stays in your life for one minute, one night or forever. Looks can only take you so far unless there is something else there to keep your attention.
For keeps or fun?
If that chap can make you laugh when you are down, talk to you when no one else will, look at you like you are the most beautiful thing he has ever seen (even first thing in the morning) and love you like no other – then my friend you are onto a winner.
If the outer beauty matches the inner beauty then its time to grab hold of that guy and show him that you too are a special one of a kind girl that he will never be able to imagine himself without.
The Law that is always working
Always remember the law of attraction. What you think about most in a man is what will come to you in a boyfriend or husband. So if you keep thinking that you don’t want a bad boy, that’s actually what you’re going to be attracting.
Sounds crazy I know, but just by making a simple shift in the way you think about your future beau will make the difference. Instead on focusing on what type of guy you don’t want to attract, start focusing on what type you do want.
Don’t just take my word for it, give it a whorl and see for yourself!
Louise Bell ‘Looks Vs Personality’ Associated Content