Sorry to disappoint you, dear Reader, but I am not Mel Gibson, the celebrity. I am Mel Gibson, or rather, Melanie Gibson, of the East coast, and I am female, with green eyes. Also, I am younger than he is. These days I seem to be more popular with people, too.
People have been calling me “Mel” for years, which is kind of natural when your full name is Melanie. What isn’t quite so natural is that I was known as “Max” for a while, for Mad Max, a recurring character the actor Mel Gibson played in the Road Warrior movie series.
Recently, due to the publicity over the actor’s escapades, I was asked jokingly by someone while we were enjoying coffee in the hall after the church service, “Do you still want to be known as Mel?” We came to the conclusion that the East coast needs a positive example; therefore, I will endeavor to be it. I am not nearly as famous as he is, though, so I doubt anybody will much care what I do or don’t do.
It would be nice to share some of the money with the other Mel Gibson, since we already share the name. A while back someone said to me, “Oh, you could probably live off of his light bill.” I’ve also had someone teasingly say to me, “Ewww! Get away from me, you anti-Semite!!” This made me giggle, because I knew he was kidding.
It would also be nice (would it or wouldn’t it?) if the actual Mel Gibson did start writing for Associated Content. Can’t you just imagine the headlines, the magazine covers, and the sudden media frenzy that would ensue?
Okay, that probably won’t really happen any time soon, but it never hurts to fantasize a little. Actually, I rather like my own status as a non-celebrity, because I can go out in public looking like crap and my picture doesn’t appear all over the country. And if I say something that doesn’t come out so good it won’t end up being on Internet videos, news programs, and discussed over water coolers and cups of coffee. I like my privacy just fine the way it is, thank you very much.
With special thanks to AC Theresa Wiza for the inspiration of this article. The rest came out of my own mind, a very odd neighborhood where unexpected things tend to happen.