We all have memories of moments in our lives that replay ad nauseam, especially those that hurt us no end! It is easy to forgive but to forget is next to impossible; even flashbacks hurt us. We have to force ourselves to suppress the playbacks in our minds! Of course, the hurt for women are much more, at least by my reading!
Life does not spare anyone of its bitter lessons; even the richest will have their moments of great angst & despair. Of course, the poor could be at an advantage in a negative sense; they get used to endless injustice, a par for the course, even! Deliberate insults are the worst of the demeanors; it is mostly by those who are possessed by the demons, but vent their frustrations on the hapless!
We look for basic decency & minimum standards in any relationship. What comes to mind is: treat others like we would like to be treated, as simple as that! But life is not that straightforward. Some are always looking for scapegoats to pass the buck and to get the frustrations out of their system. Despite the obvious progress in work decorum, the basic human trait is prehistoric! Of course, it could be sugar-coated to some extent but the hurt is all the same!
Yes, it is easy to look for faults in others, but can we not set an example and spread the cheer, even? I have taken proactive steps and the returns are even humongous to my conscience, at least! For a start, I refuse to be brow-beaten, remembering the words of wisdom from those who are long dead; but their words, the tone and actions ring forever. Mind you, most are commonest of folks, who had undergone great setbacks, but still able to keep cheerful disposition! Don’t get that from most rich; keep them company only in times of need!!
Remember me at my best is often spoken by friends and we do that for most we like! Some are, of course, remembered for their boorishness & selfish traits. But they make others such welcome breeze, so they are also part of the whole! Some most comforting & unforgettable deeds are from unexpected quarters, mostly from the bottom of society, refusing to accept even their rightful dues; and never once wavering on their ideals!
When we look back upon on our own lives, some of our actions would have hurt others; even with willful intent. The best way out is to ask for forgiveness and show remorse; then the episode is truly laid to rest with the receiving party remembering our commiseration, more than that the unpalatable earlier ones of hurt. To do what is right, whatever it takes is another great ideal; at least one, I remember with great pride and soothing in its effect, whenever I think about that simple deed of charity. I tested myself and came out in flying colors. In the overall scheme of things, it could have been a minor triumph of ideals that I live by, but it still touches my heart every time I think bout it. It was a case of an act of charity that I used to extend annually to the less privileged. One year, I was in heavy debt, but I still managed to borrow & thereby meet the donation. I tested myself and now pat myself that I refused to hide behind excuses!
Let us all set our own little tests of character and forget unjustified acts that we were at the receiving end of, as perpetrated in plain stupidity and lacking in remorse. Let us forgive and slowly get the venom out of our system. I had been done-in very few times and I feel that guilty party was just overtaken by events and truly felt remorseful, but not man enough to admit in words; but the behavior later was a dead give-away that they realized they were in the wrong. Our five fingers are different & so will the humans be whatever their position in life; as long as we live by our own standards with our conscience as the master, a greater force will protect us in the longer run and give us the solace, even in the worst of times!