You may not know it by reading some of my reviews but I’m a huge fan of classic black and white horror cinema. There’s just a certain charm to many of these old films that the genre is missing today. Of course, classic cinema back in the fifties and sixties didn’t show shaved beaver, silicon boobs and girls vomiting up their own innards either so I suppose it’s a fair trade. We lose our innocence but gain naughty nuns.
Speaking of naughty, actress Laura Winters (Rita Morley) is no angel herself. She’s a snide, arrogant alcoholic who’s barely able to stand on her own without the aid of her personal assistant, Jan Letterman (Barbara Wilkin).
Ms. Winters and Jan head on down to a charter plane service located on the docks in an attempt to find a pilot who might be interested in flying them to their destination as soon as possible. Jan sets everything up with the rugged, ex-fighter pilot Grant Murdoch (Byron Sanders) but ends up having to agree to pay him triple what he’s asking due to a tropical storm that may put them in danger. Grant’s agrees and they head out over the ocean to their destination.
Unexpectedly, the plane begins to have engine problems and they’re forced to land the plane on a small uninhabited island. After unpacking some essentials the three strike out in search of some safe shelter from the storm. Before they make it very far Ms. Winters is startled by a man walking up from the beach in scuba gear. He introduces himself as Professor Peter Bartell (Martin Kosleck), a marine biologist from some University or other, and offers them shelter.
On an excursion out to check on how things have calmed down after the storm they discover a skeleton of a girl with her flesh stripped completely off. Bartell claims it was a shark attack but something doesn’t sit right with Grant. Sharks bite chunks from bodies not filet flesh from the bones of their victims.
After some fiddling about and squabbles amongst themselves they come across a huge school of fish stripped to the bone as well. This time the carcasses are glowing with some form of sea life that devours flesh! This new development has everybody worried and Grant getting more and more suspicious with Bartell and what he’s really doing on the little island.
Bartell seems to feel that Ms. Winters has a “thing” for Grant and he decides to try and dissuade her from looking at the outward appearance and instead admire Bartell for his brains. Thank goodness it takes her a second to listen to him yammer because we get a wonderful shot of Rita Morley’s cleavage! Despite his advances, she rejects Bartell, bites his arm and runs off to get drunk in the plane. Not one to miss an opportunity though, Bartell waits until Ms. Winters passes out and he then releases the plane to float away and frames Winters for it.
Now there’s no way off the island and the terror of the flesh eaters is growing as they’re spreading out all over the water and high tide threatens to push them inland. Prof. Bartell is on the case though and trying to figure out a way to stop the tiny creatures from advancing when they stumble on electricity as a way of killing them. It just so happens Bartell has a huge solar powered generator sitting on the other side of the island for just this scenario. Grant has now come to the conclusion that he’s definitely up to no good.
The generator is rigged to electrocute parts of the shore and kill the creatures but unbeknownst to Grant and Jan, Bartell is on the other side of the beach burying the freshly shanked Ms. Winters. Seems she discovered his little flesh eaters didn’t die after their electrocution after all. Fact is, they’re now growing into something worse!
While Grant and Bartell are preparing cables, Jan heads back to the tent and finds the flesh eaters have turned into a giant one-celled organism and it’s not interesting in watching her ass swing left to right! She does her best to stop Grant and Bartell but it’s too late. They’re able to kill the creature from the tent but a much bigger monster is soon to appear. Turns out, Professor Bartell planned to create the creatures and sell them to the highest bidding government. How utterly insidious!
Surprisingly enough, The Flesh Eaters was ahead of the game. The film featured gore and quite a bit of jiggling cleavage. Now, I’m not talking about silicon cleavage either. These sweet mounds of carnal desire were all natural and just as impressive. Jan (Barbara Wilkins) is stacked from the front to the back. She swings her ass so hard I was expecting the momentum to blow her knees out. There’s one particular scene in which Grant’s leg lands in the water and flesh eaters begin burning through his pants and into his leg. Bartell quickly cuts away the pants and the flesh on Grant’s leg! Naturally a bandage is needed so Jan removes her shirt and we get a glorious shot of Jan and her jiggling wonders in their slings. Magnificent!
Now, there’s always a downside and that comes in the form of Omar (Ray Tudor), a beatnik castaway that rowed in on a raft. He’s not scared of the flesh eaters though, man, cause he’s got a weapon…LOVE. Gag, what a jackass. He yaks about peace, skiddle dee doo bop’s a couple times and soon Bartell sickens of him and tricks him into drinking a cup laced with flesh eaters. Nice work! How does that peace and love feel now you precursor to the hippies??!
The quality of Dark Sky’s release is simply astounding. The picture was sharp, colors (B&W) were all separate and distinct and the sound was just that…sound. What am I a sound expert? Everything was to my liking and the DVD even came with some cool extras. Hooray for a kick ass classic release!