Imagine dropping a gold coin in a pig sty. Do you want it bad enough? Is the gold coin really worth slopping through pig feces and left over items from Farmer John’s “sheep night”? Will the pigs and your friends laugh at you for diving into the sty? Well, the answer to all of those questions is yes…yes the gold coin is worth it…yes your friends will laugh at you and yes…the pigs will as well. Watching Death Valley is no different. You just know there’s gotta be a gold coin in this sty but you’ll be damned if you can find it.
The film starts out with a weasely, fugitive drug dealer in the middle of a hot pursuit and shaking some cops. His car shits out on him so he grabs his stash and wanders around until he happens upon a ghost town. Unfortunately for him, the ghost town is run by the biggest, baddest hombre from Sunset Valley to Hidden Valley Ranch…Bloody Bill (Jeremy Bouvet). Course, Bill isn’t alone; he has a couple dozen ghoulish zombies to do his bidding. Surprisingly enough…the fugitive drug dealer comes up missing (GASP!) and his partner Earl (Gregory Bastien) wants his money and cocaine. He kidnaps and carjacks a van full of debate team dweebs and rides on into Sunset Valley.
Tragedy soon befalls the group as the weasel partner shows up long enough to warn them, bite one of the geeks and bite the dust. Before you can ask “Who is Bloody Bill?” one of the nerdlings begins to break down the back-story and save the producers a bit of loot. We see Bill lynched and blah blah blah. Soon they’re all running for their life and as each kid wanders away from the group and is murdered you begin to question your sanity. “Can I really be watching this??”
Death Valley isn’t really a bad film, it just doesn’t feel very inspired. I did like the fact that Bloody Bill is a racist because it added more depth to the character but the movie is filled with exposition. We get the characters full breakdown in almost one sitting and it just felt contrived and silly. The acting and gore were decent for a b-movie though
There was one classic standout scene with Earl (Gregory Bastien), a key of yayo and a zombie beat down that has to be seen to be believed. I wasn’t too excited about the goose-stepping, dictator metal music or the fact that the film was ended on an R&B song but you take what you get. Death Valley isn’t bringing anything new to the table…fact is…it brings nothing to the aforementioned pig sty but it doesn’t pretend to. Anybody who can honestly say they were disappointed by this film must not have been watching the first 30 minutes. Do yourself a favor, if you plan to watch this clunker, grab some beer and pretzels and tell your friends you’re in for the night.