Many a days I sit around and bemoan the dying art of horrors beloved hands on special FX. The kind that populated my nightmares as a child. The rubber monsters that hissed; their slime glistening off the moonlight terrified me. Those latex beasties are gone forever. Now we’re treated to poorly made, blurry CG; unconvincing and heartless. Horror seemed like it just wouldn’t be fun again until Centipede rolled on thru.
A group of adventurers decide to throw one last caving expedition as a Bachelor Party gift to their friend David (Larry Casey). The group head out to a cave system in India and end up trapped in. Can it get worse? It can when you’re in the same cave with a 20 ft. centipede! This scuttling horror hunts each cave geek down dispatching them in hideous ways until only a small group is left, climbing for their lives. The centipede shows no mercy as it drags people away. Even more horrific is that there’s an egg chamber nearby and the centipede maggots are hatching!
Meanwhile, on the outside, a determined University Professor is still searching for her missing students (who die in the beginning) and now she has the local police out looking. Luckily for the cavers trapped in with the centipede, their radio call for help is received by the prerequisite bungling comedy relief and the police begin working on ways to get them out of the caves.
The battle for survival soon brings the remaining cavers to a small water supply where they’re forced to combat the giant creepy crawler face to mandibles. Just when you think this icky creature is dead…BAM! Another guy is bug food. When the group finally do make it out, another massive centipede slithers out and meets an untimely end in a hail of bullets and Indian expletives.
Centipede didn’t offer much in the way of gore but who cares! We get a real deal rubber centipede instead of a computer graphic and that just made this film for me. The centipede scuttles, hisses, rears up and even swims!! Hooray for Maverick! This definitely makes up for the shitfest they released called The Wickeds. They could have easily gone the route of CG and bad acting but they choose mediocre acting and an animatronic monster and for that they deserve a round of applause.
One low point of the film for me though was the women. They give us two smoking hotties (Zoe and Sara) who dress in skimpy clothes and even dance around a fire like strippers on a 3 day Meth binge and yet we get no orbs of flesh or naughty parts. Nudity could have only helped the film to be honest. To make matters worse the lead female Sara (Margaret Cash) has big budget looks, porn film tits and a Betty Boop voice. Ugh! You’ll be forced to do nothing but plug your ears and watch her shake. What a great film though. Monster enthusiasts rejoice! This is definitely a beer and Cheetos flick so put away the dictionary and cancel your weekly Mensa gathering and switch the brain on autopilot.