If you feel the appeal of spring break sun, of the sunniest of days, of the para-sailing, and Jet Ski romps, of endless summer, if you come alive with the call of the co-eds, then Piranha may be the picture for you. Ah, the co-eds! Never before have so many young, slim and trim, bikini-clads filled the screen of a single motion picture. From beginning to end, the patron is treated to lovely collegiates in the tiniest of bikinis; some less (some considerably less!) laughing and playing in the summer festivities.
But from an underground lake comes an ominous thrashing. Limitless piranha, larger than ever before seen, have spawned, and are hungry ‘” thirsting for blood! The 3D venue provides us with up-close views of piranha teeth, as well as buxom beauties.
As to the plot, we are following the progress of a young band of movie makers who are utilizing the area shared by the spring-breakers. These filmers are very much engrossed in their ongoing project. They have a power yacht with a glass-enclosed viewing box for underwater escapades, most notably the tasteful and refreshing scenes of two lithe lovelies playing and enjoying one another’s company in the all-together naturalness that they are eager to share. Among the movie producers, a rather obnoxious director; then we meet the sensitive and pragmatic young man who really shouldn’t be there; he is supposed to be watching the children. Eventually the aforementioned children and their mother come into play for the final blood fest.
Blood fest? As the astute reader may have suspected, the co-eds of spring are interrupted in their partying by hoards of the starving piranha. The horrible fish can reduce the unwary in the water to less then bones, in seconds. And they do!
Let me get to the real magic of this movie. If there are, shall we say, 200 frolicsome young people in this movie, then there must have been 600 makeup experts and coaches working with them to fruition. The special effects and makeup in this movie are unprecedented and second to none, ever. The blood and guts is so detailed as to escalate the venture to new heights. One parasailing scantily-clad having found herself suspended in the water to her waist, is finally, and too late, pulled up. Her lower half is gone; she’s reduced to half a girl! A young man who stayed in the water a tad too long is devastated by the fish, and in both cases, the gore and body wounds are there for our perusal. Half-eaten or vanished limbs, devoured torsos, all are in like manner laid out for our inspection.
The 3D in Piranha 2010 may be disappointing to some. In spite of what I said earlier, it is not, nor does it approach, the 3D of the “reach out and touch” sort. At no time do we feel we are “nose to nose” with any fish or person. As 3D goes, we know it’s there; we are after all wearing the glasses, but beyond that ‘” not so much.
But the sheer numbers and joy of the playful collegiates more than makes up for the weak 3D. And when the few available police insist the breakers vacate the water, a plea they ignore, we are almost gratified by the blood bath. This movie may be too extreme for young viewers.
Piranha 3D was directed by Alexandre Aja. Richard Dreyfuss and Christopher Lloyd have minor roles.
This review first published by me, John Lake (aka, BigBadJohnny) at: