I predict that in California
It will be discovered that the sensational “whore” utterance was from none other than Jerry Brown himself, but was directed in fun toward Gloria Allred. A semi-appeased Meg Whitman will lose, none-the-less, and buy the entire state of California out of spite.
I predict that in Connecticut
Once CEO of WWE Linda McMahon will suffer a “smackdown” of her own, and Blumenthal will “misspeak”….. again….. by thanking “Countrywide” for their undying support. He will later bumble through a press conference explaining that he meant to say “state wide”.
I predict that in Kentucky
Winner Rand Paul will be located via an All Points Bulletin, and will finally agree to attend the celebratory victory party. Jack Conway will fade into obscurity for a week, and reappear in an Aquafina commercial, tying up a mermaid.
I predict that in Delaware
(erroneously called Rhode Island until Mike Oberg noticed, and thank you Mike, but does anyone really care if I get a state or two wrong?)
Christine O’Donnell’s last ditch effort to pump up support fails miserably. Changing lanes again, she admits she really was a witch (but just for a few years). Wicca support skyrockets but not enough to boost her out of the coven. What’s his name wins by a broomslide.
I predict that in Pennsylvania
Pat Toomey and Joe Sestak’s superlative efforts to dodge issues result in a “first time ever” draw. Arlen Specter has agreed to step in and negotiate a resolution, as he feels he is most qualified by being a non-committed, totally misunderstood Republicrat.
And (drum roll please) I predict that in Florida
Meek will not inherit anything this year. Marco Rubio wins easily even after Charlie Christ changes his political hat once again to present himself as…..Jesus Christ.