I remember when I first started searching for online work. People would just roll their eyes. They thought I would never make any money, would never amount to anything. “Just like everything else, Cathy, you always talking all these pipe dreams!” I could hear all the naysayers boiling around in my head every night so much so that I couldn’t sleep.
It was fear, fear of what people thought that kept me on at the nursing home for 3 years “wiping tail” for minimum wage, killing myself. Don’t get me wrong. I love my “folks”, as I call them. There’s Gracie, only in her sixties, who has a mysterious disease that has made her muscles atrophy, but who cannot abide being a grump or grumps around her. Mr Percy? Why he would just as soon bite you as look at you, but I can’t help but being sweet on him. He gives a little smile after I gently ask him questions about his life with the railroad and forgets that he was so quick to call me a “lazy cuss”, his pet name for, well, everyone. But, reality check! Nursing home work will wear you down. It will flat sure wear you down. It’s the floors. You could hardly walk after your shift was over. I was already down in my back. It took 2 doctors to figure out what was wrong with it.
I have a little girl of my own and I’m only 21. My little Adelaide is 3. I don’t know or care where her daddy is. My man I have now? He is so good to me. We been together a year and a half . I hadn’t told him about the work at home dream . He can be pretty understanding, like if supper is late or if the house ain’t so perfect, but I didn’t know what he would think of me working out of the bedroom from the computer. He don’t take much of a shine to stuff like that. You know, he likes for things to be “normal”.
Then, one fall, after years of secretly checking all the sites, I decided to go for it! Other years I noticed they would advertise more or you would see more hiring information on the forums in mid October. They would be gearing up for the holidays. So, I filled out the application, prayed my credit check would pass, and crossed my fingers. I would add the phone line if I got hired, I reasoned. I would beg or borrow the money from my Mama.
It was two weeks before I heard anything. Mama commented that she thought I thought more of my computer than my baby – oops. I about scared my man out of his camo when I screamed, ” I did it, I’m a real live agent!”