My mother was my best friend. Some people might not get that or understand about the relationship that my mother and I had. I was an only child and as a result, my mother was just about everything to me. It will be a year ago in December that my mother passed away and it is now, even though it is still very emotional for me, I am able to talk about it. She was a woman of great strength and love for everyone. She had the capacity to love and to also never hold a grudge. She was an ill woman for a number of years but she never let it get to her, even though at times, her body let her down. She had a smile on her face almost every day and something nice to say to just about everyone that she met. Many a people would comment about her strength and always having a smile. That was just the person that she was. She was my mother and I still miss her very much.
My mother was someone that I could talk to just about anything under the sun and as I have said, she was my best friend. Some people believe that a husband is a best friend after you marry; which he is, but to me, my mother was the one and true constant in my life. She was my rock and always there for me when I needed her. She was understanding and to me, very wise. I felt that I could talk to her about anything and everything. Since I was an only child, I was her focus, which I did not mind at all. I loved her and she loved me. I had a different relationship with my father but I relied on him just as much. It was just that I was closer to my mother and as a result many family members commented about me being tied to my mother’s apron strings. My mother and I thought that was funny and that they did not understand. They did not have that close relationship and bond with their own children that my mother and I did. There was nothing bad about it at all. It was just that we were close and we understood each other.
As I was growing up, my mother and I would do just about everything together. I am a fan of Star Trek and for a number of years until I reached an age that I could go by myself, my mother would go with me to the conventions. We stayed all day, practically, enjoying what was going on and so forth. She was not a big fan of the series but she did like it, and I was very much appreciative to having someone come with me. I also love to read and almost every week as I was growing up, she would take me to the local library. It was both she and my father who gave me the love of reading and I will be forever grateful for both of them for that. At one point, it seemed that I had read everything in that one library, so she made the decision to take me to the main library and we would have a blast. We were forever going somewhere together. We would go shopping at the mall, regular stores, bookstores; generally spending time together. I had friends, but I remember wanting to spend as much time with her as I could. It was like I knew I would not have much time with her.
My mother was also often sick throughout my growing up years. Sometimes, I would worry myself sick when she became ill and would often end up in the hospital. There was a bit of a downside being as close as we were, but I would not trade it for anything. Our relationship did change when I met the man that I would marry. It did not change a lot but it did change. After I met my future husband and it became clear that it was serious, I did not rely on her as much. We still did things together, but my focus was my relationship. He often helped me through the difficult times when my mother grew ill and ended up in the hospital. After we married, I moved away, but my mother and I would keep in touch. We were close as ever, but not as close as we once were.
I remember last December vaguely, but I do remember the last time that I spoke to my mother. It was a couple of nights before everything changed when she called to talk. We usually talked for at least a half hour, but for some reason, we only talked for maybe ten minutes. She was upbeat and happy with life. I could hear it in her voice and was happy that she was happy. I never thought that two days later that I would get a call from my father about her. At first, my father thought it was pneumonia and was going to take her to the hospital, but later I received a frantic and upsetting call about problems and so forth. I did not know at the time, but my mother had passed away. I do remember worrying about her and as I was waiting for a call from my uncle, a sense of peace passed over me. It was like my mother was telling me not to worry and that she was going to a better place. My husband and I finally made it down to see her but I could see that she was no longer there. I let my father know that whatever decisions that he made, I was behind him one hundred percent.
It will be a year in December that I lost my mother and I still dreadfully miss her. My parents would have been married for forty five years if she had survived and I marveled at her resilience and all. She was someone that I hope to be someday; someone with the will power, the strength, and courage to get through life. She was a woman of deep conviction, devotion, and love. I will miss her always, because she was my best friend, and the one person that I could count on to be there for me.
I do this article in honor of her. I love you mom, always will, and you will be missed.