You sit down at your computer, open your e-mail account and prepare to reply to that interesting guy that you have been writing to. The online conversation has been going back and forth for a week, a month, maybe even several months and then suddenly, it stopped. He never wrote back to your last e-mail. How do you react? Do you interrogate him, do you remain silent? Here are a few thoughts on what may have happened.
First of all, does he have any other means of contact with you? Your phone number, Facebook, other e-mail addresses? If not, something may have happened that is preventing him from responding. Perhaps there has been an emergency, or maybe his computer crashed and is being repaired. While these circumstances are entirely plausible, they’re not the best excuses. An e-mail explaining his brief disappearance could take only seconds to send and there is certainly no shortage of computer-access within the United States.
Unless you have forged a deep relationship with this guy, take it into account that men often read between the lines. Perhaps one of your remarks offended him. Unfortunately, It doesn’t take much to sever that connection you have worked so hard to form. Writing back and forth to someone online has some interesting aspects, although they may not always work in your favor. It is easy to end contact with someone you never see in person when communicating via e-mail. Often times these relationships get cut off and dangle painfully with no closure.
Whatever the reason is for his lack of reciprocation, one thing is certain: he has not written back. The ball has been left in your court and maybe you don’t know how to throw it back to him, if at all. If you were harboring one of those, “uh oh, I knew it was coming,” suspicions, it may be best to avoid making an effort to re-kindle the conversation.
If you were wailing away at the keyboard every night and the relationship was heading in a good direction, then you may want to send one last e-mail. It is possible that your last message was accidentally diverted to the junk-mail folder. If so, he may be sitting on the other side wondering why you never wrote back. That’s the best-case scenario, anyway.
If you decide to send one last, hopeful e-mail, please follow these guidelines so your secret weapon doesn’t mutate into a nuclear bomb.
Never Come Off as Being Clingy
Make this message sincere, curious, and short. If he doesn’t have the time to reply to you, then you definitely don’t have the time to be writing free e-mails to him. A good relationship is not one-sided, it’s a mutual-effort pool.
Do not include words that show how dependent on him you are for support. Avoid using phrases such as, “I miss talking to you,” “I’m lonely without you,” “I hope I didn’t offend you,” or anything else that makes you seem insecure.
Make Him Want What He Can’t Have
I’m sure you’ve heard that line of advice before. This message should be a brief inquiry: “hey, you should write back sometime” or “I enjoyed talking to you. Take care.” Make it sound as if his absence is nothing detrimental and you can stand on your own two feet. Besides, It will be him who’s missing out.
Lastly, if the poke e-mail fails to illicit a response after a while, consider the relationship over. Nothing is for sure, of course. He may write back to you two weeks, but there’s no point in worrying about it. The best way to look at it is, if he hasn’t got time for you, then you should look for someone else, someone who values your time and thoughts.