In the past, doctors considered passive-aggressiveness as a disorder. A passive-aggressive person will use procrastination, disorganization, incompetence, and forgetfulness to express their feelings. They shy away from openly expressing how they feel because they are hostile inside or they may feel the need to have complete control over their lives with out instruction, correction, or admonition.
A passive-aggressive parent looks like this:
1. Playing the victim – “You (the child), never love me.” It is a poor me attitude.
2. Consistent Pessimism – Even when things are going well they will find something to complain about.
3. Being critical of their children – Putting others down gives them a sense of accomplishment because if they are miserable everyone should be.
4. Chronically late – This is a way for the passive-aggressive to exert control. They do this by speaking through their actions. Their actions say you can’t control my life; I’ll get there when I want to get there.
5. Blame others for personal failures – They don’t take responsibilities for their actions.
6. Not allowing others to become close – They have a hard time trusting people.
7. Being unresponsive – They act as though they agree with others but they are suppressing their true feelings inside.
8. Don’t express frustration – They prefer a safe and comfortable environment.
9. Lack follow through – They like to take an easy approach to life and do not do anything that takes effort.
10. No initiative – Because of their laid-back personality they are not easily motivated.
A passive-aggressive parent will affect their children in one of two ways. On one hand they child may learn to view the world from their passive-aggressive parents eyes and too adopt the passive-aggressive personality. On the other hand, they may come to resent their parents passive-aggressive personality and strive to be the opposite of what they see in their parents. Dr. Phil has some helpful information regarding passive-aggressive people and how to identify them. You can take a look at it here, www.drphil.com. Take heart when dealing with a passive-aggressive parent. Do not allow them to through their actions, silently manipulate you. Encourage them to see the positive qualities in their children. Initially struck with how easy-going they are you later realize that their agreeable disposition is just façade. Ultimately, you must remember that a true passive-aggressive people have problems beyond our control and you are better than that. Keep up the positive outlook on life and maybe you will be the role model a child with a passive-aggressive parent needs. Want to know more? Click