Passive-aggressive behavior is defined as a personality trait marked by a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes and passive resistance.
1. Sulking instead of talking.
If your child does something that you don’t like, instead of sulking you need to sit your child down and talk to them about it. If you don’t communicate with your child as to why you are upset then they won’t know that they did something wrong and will continue with the bad behavior.
2. “Forgetting” something important because you are upset.
When I was younger my parents would conveniently “forget” to do things they had promised me they would do if I had done something to upset them.
3. Yelling and banging things around when you are mad.
My mom had a tendency to get mad and just yell in general when she was mad. This in turn would make me mad and I would continue to do the opposite of whatever she wanted. Talk to your kids, don’t just yell.
Whenever my mom wanted me to do something she would guilt me into it by saying how she gave up her life for me when she got pregnant with me at 16. Do not use guilt to convince your child to do something, it isn’t right.
5. Taking forever to do something your kid asked you to do.
If your kid asks for help with something don’t get frustrated with them. If they didn’t need help, they wouldn’t ask. Your job as a parent is to help your child.
6. Getting mad when your child tries to help you do something.
My mother is dyslexic so whenever she was doing something that involved spelling, I would offer to help. Not to belittle her, but because I genuinely wanted to help. Most of the time she would get mad at me because she wanted to do it herself, which is fine, but she could have declined politely instead of getting angry.
I personally love sarcasm, I think it’s hilarious, but not when it comes to your children. They won’t understand it and it will have the opposite effect of what you actually want.
There is a big difference between mocking and teasing. Teasing is good-natured and fun and mocking is cruel and mean. My parents mocked me from a young age and it had a horrible effect on my self esteem.
9. Blaming your child for your own issues
Ever since I was little, I can remember hearing my mom say “I could have made something of myself if I wouldn’t have had you”. It was not my fault she got pregnant with me and even though I know that it is not my fault, after hearing it often enough it definitely had an effect on me.
10. Treating your child like a little adult.
From a young age I was always around adults. I wasn’t allowed to play with other children so I never got to be a real child. This prevents your child from developing like they should and really confuses them and it is not right.