I drive by an electronic billboard on my way home from work each day. I suppose it’s a gift from the Department of Transportation. It’s somewhat new, and its purpose seems to be to post helpful information for motorists or the public in general.
A lot of times it tells us that it’s an orange pollution day. Or maybe a red pollution day. I can’t remember for sure, but it’s something about pollution. I’m not sure how to react to something like that. First, I don’t really have the pollution chart handy. I assume that if I did, I might know how to proceed. What exactly am I supposed to do? Turn around and go back to work? Pull over and walk home? Cover my windows with plastic and duct tape?
Along with the helpful pollution messages, it often displays “Drink. Drive. Go to Jail.” I don’t know about you, and I’m not usually one of those to be so distrustful of government, but this sounds like a TERRIBLE idea! I have seen other signs of this type commonly offering wait times until upcoming landmarks, like downtown or the airport, which can be helpful to those in a hurry. But after 6pm and heading for home, I guess there’s no sense in displaying “You’ll get there when you get there.”
Another thing that I’ve learned since I’ve been paying attention to this sign is that elderly people go missing quite often. It will say “Missing Elderly Person” with their automobile description and their license plate number. Did they check the bathroom first? Elderly folks can spend a lot of time in there. This could be awfully embarrassing when the authorities need to be called and told that Granny simply overdosed on Metamucil. But maybe she did leave the house. She’s probably out at Walmart or just went to vote. And if you still can’t find her after a day or two, check Florida.