When a child is brought into the world, surrounded by a flurry of fuzzy white and black images and rampaging emotion bombarding their brand spanking new synapses, they are exposed immediately to a world without context. A connection cannot be made between what they encounter and what they remember because they have no imprint of memory or experience.
As they grow older, they learn how to do the most basic things needed to survive. They learn to eat. Then they learn how to eat with a fork, kind of. Most of the lessons they are given come from their parents as they are guided through the missteps of stepping into human life.
These parents try their hardest to make sure that their child is not exposed to anything unfiltered or raw, from the billions of images shot through space aimed at our society to their own potentially unkempt tongue. This can backfire.
My son was sitting with me at the dinner table. I’m sure we were eating something wonderful and healthy. He had just finished shoving the last of whatever exempt-from-judgment food stuffs we were eating into his mouth when a bubbly sound rumbled through his tummy and exited his posterior.
Without a though he giggled and shouted “Ha! Poo poo pops!” His eyes were wild as he looked to me and then to his mother for a sense of shared hilarity. Neither of the parental units moved. He calmed down, placed his fork on the table and asked to be excused.
Ten steps sent him into the living room and out our eye line. My wife couldn’t hold her smile back, mainly because I had been stifling my laughter to the point of turning bright red.
“Where did he get poo poo pops?” She asked.
“That’s all him.” I said. He had no idea what to name his escaping gas. We had been very careful of what we said around him, fearful of what he might accidentally hear and then embarrassingly repeat. And it was that evening when we decided between us a parents to not censor common euphemisms in our everyday conversations but to define them if questioned so that he can be sure to say the correct word when he farts, now and forever.