If you want to prepare your child for real life in our real world, you have to prepare them right from the start. Having three biological children and one step-child ranging from the age four to thirteen, I have found out that the earlier you can prepare your child for real life in our real world will help them see realistically instead of unrealistically. The longer you wait and the more you enable your child, the more resistance they will give you, which ultimately ends up becoming even more as you attempt to prepare them for real life in our real world. Here are ways to prepare your child for real life right from the start before they adventure out on their own.
Don’t Enable Your Child
Once your child is capable of doing something for themselves, let them do it. As a mother we tend to want to do things for our children because we love them and want life to be easy for them. The more we do for our children that they are capable of doing themselves, the more they will expect you to do those things for them. If you continue to do things for them, they will eventually get out in our real world and will expect everyone to do everything for them and that is not real life. You can start as early as the toddler age by making them pick up their toys, picking out their clothes and dressing themselves as soon as they are capable. We as mothers are so busy with our schedule, we end up just doing everything for the child when they are capable to get it done faster, but this will ultimately get the toddler to expect you to do things for them. We need to slow down and take the time to let them do it for themselves even when we are busy. This is very important when preparing your child for real life in our real world.
Don’t Solve All Problems
Don’t jump in and solve all of the problems that your child may be having. If you solve everything for them, they will not take the time to try to solve their problems themselves. Give them the opportunity to solve their problems first and step in to help them only when it is necessary. You want to prepare them for real life in our real world and if you solve all their problems, they will be expecting you to solve all their problems for them. When they get out in the real world, they will have become great problem solvers because you didn’t solve all their problems for them and they learned on their own.
Don’t Be Afraid to Say No
Don’t be afraid to say the word no. You don’t want to spoil your child and give them everything they want or they will grow up thinking that they can get anything they want. If you give your child everything and don’t say no, they will have a rude awakening when they adventure out on their own to experience real life in our real world and they won’t expect things to simply be handed to them.
Live by Example
How you live as a mother is how the children will learn how to live and behave. How you treat your children is how they will learn to treat their children. Don’t do anything that you don’t want your children to learn to do. Be an example in your child’s life and it will nurture them into being the adult you would like them to become.
Don’t overly Praise and use Constructive Criticism
Don’t overly praise your children and tell them they are funny when they may not be. Overly praising your child will only lead them into disappointment in real life when they are not getting that praise because you thought it was funny and someone else may not think it was all that great. Be honest with them and give them constructive criticism. As mothers, it is important that we give our children constructive criticism so that they can learn how to act or behave or even improve on what they are doing.
Teach them Household Chores
Teach your children household chores as soon as they are capable. Teach them how to make their bed, do laundry, set the table, do the dishes, cook, and everything else that they will need to know when they get out in the real life. This can start as early as the toddler years by letting them help you put wash in the dryer or sweeping the floor. The more you teach them, the better off they will be in our real world knowing what real life is all about.
Be Consistent
This is the most important lesson to be learned when preparing your children for real life in our real world. In everything you do, always be consistent. Don’t get busy and do things for them, take time out and keep doing what you are doing. Consistency may be difficult, but it will pay off in the long run.
Sources:
http://www.dailystrength.org/support-groups
http://www.parentshelpingparents.org/parentsupportgroupsc/parent-support-groups.html
http://psychcentral.com/resources/Parents_and_Children/Support_Groups/
