Oh holy hell y’all, how did you like THAT? Was I the only person whose mouth was hanging wide open at some of last nights conversations? I swear to God, I will never be same after hearing the sugar conversation and seeing Phaedra smacking her big sticky lips saying it taste delisssshhhhuuusss. Blech. I just got the chills writing that.
Ok more about Phaedra later, let’s dish shall we….
Last week I said Kandi was starting to fade into the background but this week she stepped it up and is now our new Dr.Ruth. That’s right Kandi Coated Nights was in full effect last night, and the guest of honor was our beloved Kim and the issue at hand was cheating.
Kandi wanted to know if Kim felt it was cheating since Big Papa is still legally married. Kim’s answer to that was no. She told Kandi it was not cheating because he lived in Atlanta and his family lived in L.A.. Yeah, ok whatevs, dude is still married Kimmy girl.
I think that this may have been Kandi’s passive/aggressive way of getting back at Kim for the whole Tardy for The Party issue. When you ask a person if they have ‘beef curtains’ on national television you are either punkin’ them or you are one pizzed off bish.
I did feel bad for Kandi and her daughter when they were talking about Riley’s father. Poor Riley is missing a father figure in her life and her dad had only just recently decided to step up to the plate. Riley may only be 7 but sometimes it becomes too little too late for kids. Hopefully that won’t be the case for Riley
NeNe is getting ready to show off the new NeNe but to be honest there is not a whole lot of difference. This is not a bad thing, I mean you don’t want your peeps to wonder who the hell is walking at them right? NeNe had her nostrils tucked in, got her boobs under control by going from a cup size J to a mere F, and had the pooch removed. Good for you sweets! Go on with your bad self.
NeNe and Cynthia decide to go shopping so they hit up the lingerie department. NeNe is in need of some new bras now that she has tamed down the twins and Cynthia is shopping for her honeymoon. Now I love Cynthia but girlfriend doesn’t even have a ring on her finger yet, but she has her honeymoon lingerie. Baby steps girl.
NeNe was loving her new self because she came strutting out in her lil’ leopard bra. She was busting out the moves and showed Cynthia how to drop it like it’s hot right in the dressing room.
While shopping NeNe also talked to Cynthia about her marital issues with Greg. This only gave Cynthia more reason to think that marriage was not a good idea. This was probably not the best conversation to have with Cynthia while shopping for honeymoon lingerie but without a ring. Whatevs.
Phaedra has decided she is going to have some maternity pictures taken. Since she is such a southern belle she wants them to be artistic and beautiful, and nothing says class more than a jar of pickles. That’s right y’all when lil’ Zeus is born he will be sent to stare at a picture of his parents both chomping down on opposite ends of a large dill as a time out. That will be worse than any azz whippin Phaedra could ever hand out. Keep on bringin’ the class girl.
Dr. Love invited Sheree over for dinner and he tries to get all corny and sentimental on Sheree. On SHEREE, boyfriend doesn’t know who he is dealing with. You want to impress Sheree, get some granite counters and a prep cook because you are asking the wrong girl to cut strawberries. Dr. Love is lucky she didn’t cut him when he tried to jam his finger covered in cookie batter in her mouth. STOP.Just. Stop. Button your shirt up and f’ing stop.
Dr.Love is telling the world how material things mean nothing to him i.e. he is broke as a joke. Sheree catches on and asks him straight out if he has money. Dr. Love deflects the question and Shereee is all love don’t pay the bills. Something tells me that Dr. Love’s time has run out.
Cynthia decides to have a Mother’s Day brunch for the ladies at her home and all the women except Kim are there. Phaedra comes and she tells us how Cynthia’s neighborhood isn’t for her. See Cynthia lives where the old ghetto has turned suburban and Phaedra just had to point that out. Oh how I would love to jam that pickle right back in her nasty fish lips every time she speaks. Anywho…
The talk quickly goes to sex with Kandi explaining that she is out of the game for a year BUT that she loves a lil’ sugar in her vajayjay. Phaedra gets all excited and explains how she uses powdered sugar and it is just delisssshhhuuuusss. At this point I want to thank Bravo for the nightmares I had last night. Thanks Bravo…..Jerks.
NeNe is all sorts of disgusted and almost gags at the table. I was dying when NeNe busted out with “Listen, I would neva put Kool-Aid, candied yams, a peppermint, pancake syrup, none of those things up in my vajayjay. That’s crazy.” DYING..NeNe tell us that she is pretty lame in the sex department and just wants to be taken over. I find this hard to believe, I mean she was all sorts of sexing it up in the store mirror earlier.
Peter who I have to imagine had been drinking HEAVILY while this conversation was going on stumbles over and throws in his two cents saying that maybe that’s the reason things are bad at home. Cynthia shoots him the look that says he ain’t getting any sugar tonight and NeNe looks like she is going to beat the bag out of his azz. Peter can see the danger he is in and peaces out.
Phaedra seems all confused at this brunch too about when her child is due. When asked she stays vague saying things like this spring. Why can’t she just give a date? When is the child due?This is not hard, it’s around 10 months after you had sex. You are a lawyer do the math bish.
Mama Joyce throws some words of wisdom to NeNe about not acting like such a bish all the time, Apollo gave Phaedra a Gucci bag(when did he get a job?) , and everyone else just drank to try and forget the sugar conversation. Good luck with that. It is a memory that will forever be burned into my brain. Once again a big thumbs up to Bravo for that one.
Join us again next week when NeNe talks divorce and Cynthia and Peter get ready to hide, Kim tells Kandi she isn’t feeling the new song. Oh and I am sure Phaedra will do something so don’t forget to bring your wine. God knows I will have it handy.