2 male football fiends
2 humongous heroes
2 bowls of chips
1 salsa dip
1 guacamole dip (after all it’s not a football game if you don’t have the guacamole)
1 humongous keg of beer and cups
2 humongous bottles of soda and cups
3 huge bottles of Gas-x and Pepto Bismol
1. At a house with frivolous football confetti and decorations all over it (it’s not really Thanksgiving. Nope. it’s Game Day!), plop two male football fiends on couch in front of a television. Do not sit them too close to each other or then won’t have room to scratch themselves. Turn TV on to appropriate channel.
2. Place remote control on coffee table between soda and guacamole. While they are not going to change the channel, they want to know they can change it at anytime. It makes them feel like men. No, I don’t understand this, but it works for them.
3. Place salsa, chips, etc near soda and guacamole. Cut up heroes and place near men in orderly fashion.
4. Place Keg at one end of the room. While men will not get up for food, they WILL get up for beer! So this way they are getting some exercise.
5. Mix everything together.
After game is over:
1. One male football fiend will exit house.
2. The one female will try hard not to laugh at the one male left, who has guacomole and other various stains on his face, hands, and buttocks.
3. The one football fiend left will get severe stomach pains.
4. Female will administer 3 huge bottles of Gas-x and Pepto Bismol.
5. Female will tuck football fiend into bed, and he will ask for sex. She will answer “haha. no.”
6. Then female will proceed to go sleep on the couch. Why? Because she can’t wear a gas mask to bed.
Calories: For male football fiend: Too many to count. For woman: 0. Fat: For male football fiend: Too much to count, but he’ll lose weight in the bathroom later, at least 2 pounds. Forwoman: 0.
Serving: Everyone’s source of laughter- or so I hope.