Overall Rating: 1.5/5 Stars
Data East and Vic Tokai conspired to release an arcade-based video game for the Nintendo Entertainment System called Bump ‘n’ Jump. In 1988, their conspiracy came to fruition, and this stupid game was unleashed on an unsuspecting gaming public.
Bump ‘n’ Jump is an auto-scrolling-upward overhead-view not-quite-racing game that puts the player in control of a pink-and-blue Jeep-lookin’ monstrosity straight out of an old CGA-graphics PC game for a 386 machine. The unseen protagonist’s girlfriend is kidnapped by a big mean purple truck and, unlike classic NES adventures where the hero beats up thugs in order to win her back, in this case the driver must drive through monotonous courses in an effort to Bump opposing cars off the street and Jump over enormous gaps in the roadways. The B button brakes, the A button jumps, the up button accelerates to a self-steadying faster speed, and the enemy vehicles come in varieties such as Annoying Little Red Car and Green Dump Truck That Occasionally Drops Chunks Of Concrete That Instantly Kill You.
Okay, this game looks crude, but it does deserve credit for pulling off a very smoothly scrolling environment without sacrificing on-screen integrity. Otherwise, this is a very underwhelming cartridge in terms of its visuals. Oh, and the title screen rapidly flashes annoyingly between two colors, like it is trying to give you a seizure.
The music is generic, bouncy, bloopy, and loopy. If you do not know what those words mean as concerns background tracks, then too bad, because that is as good of a description as you are going to receive from this quickly written review.
Well, it could be argued that there is no video game quite like Bump ‘n’ Jump, and that would be correct, thank Jesus. Granted, it could be considered somewhat cool that you can stomp on other cars as you assert your vehicular dominance over their pitiful chassis carcasses, but this would be a mistake.
You may be tempted to believe that Bump ‘n’ Jump is a high-quality, addictive, appealingly unique, enjoyable video game with replay value, innovative gameplay elements, and amusing visuals. You, however, would be a silly brainwashed simpleton. Rest assured, Bump ‘n’ Jump is a shallow, repetitive, dull, shrug-it-off NES cartridge. Once you get over the novelty of a jumping Jeep that can crush other automobiles, you realize that beneath the vehicular veneer this title deserves no more than one and a half stars out of five.