This morning I watched news on couple who were working, with the help of a marriage counselor to save their marriage. Having being married for 17 years, they thought they were divorce proof. The wife was willing to forgive, but could not make up her mind, she considered ending the marriage on one hand, while on the other; she acknowledged her role in their failure, she admitted her failure to make a better wife, by being there for her husband. Her husband had committed infidelity, due to her wife’s absence and commitment to other issues, irrespective of her husband’s needs. He expressed his disappointments and was sincerely sorry for the act.
Their story generated positive feedback, and reflected the possibility of healing marriages in the US. Divorce rate is so high; it’s alarming that fewer and fewer people are willing to go all the way in marriage. Certainly, the words “I do” make no sense at all, and the other words, “Till death do us part” seem to be thrown into the gutters. In my observations, we spend too much time and money, planning for weddings and very little time, if any on preparation for marriage. A marriage is a long journey, a one Way Street, with ups and downs, the most difficult thing to do is to live with someone so close, and agree on absolutely everything. In fact, it is unheard of. For two people to agree to share their lives is the most beautiful thing one can ever think of, yet the most challenging. Obviously, their backgrounds are very different, their tastes and preferences are very different. While dating, we tend to be blind on these things; rather, we term them as sexy. After marriage, these characteristics cease to be sexy and attractive, they become a bother and unbearable, leading to heated arguments and eventual divorce.
I am not a marital counselor, and neither have I been married for long, but I will not hesitate to call on marriage counselors to step up, prepare young people for marriage. I loved the work of my Pastor for the effort he put into my marriage, before I got married. He shed a lot of light into most issues of marriage and how to respond to them using Biblical principles. It does not mean that my wife and I now agree on everything, but our ability to understand our different personalities and backgrounds, and allow each other room to be what God desires us to be, giving us an opportunity to enjoy our marriage. Amos 3:3 says, “How can two people work together unless they agree”? To begin with, we must agree to disagree, without tearing each other down. One of the steps counselors need to take into consideration while counseling couples is the appropriate age to get married. Being married young is good and fun, but not necessarily mature. The scriptures call for maturity as a necessary first step before you share your life with someone else. Genesis 1:28 says, God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground …. Being fruitful encompasses all levels of maturity, from decision making, to dealing with in-laws, to conflict resolution, while exercising high temperaments and tolerance with each other. The word of God cautions on being slow to anger. Getting angry quick is a foolish display of character, a gateway for the devil disrupt and destroy your peace.
Marriages can be saved through the power of the blood of Jesus Christ. His word brings healing to our lives, restores that which has been stolen, and reunites us with the Father. His mercies and grace are abundant for all of us, and by His love, has forgiven our trespasses. There is a need to acknowledge the importance God places on marriages and treat our spouses as first priority after Him. The world will quickly provide you with an easy way out, but it mostly leads to destruction. That is why after one commits infidelity, is unable to hide from it, and eventually destruction of his/her marriage ensues. The Way of God is enjoyable, and brings about maturity and success.